This is a great theory, and would answer what I’ve been wondering since S7 wrapped — How the fuck are the living going to stand a snowball’s chance in hell against the ice zombies?

My mother-in-law is a retired NICU nurse, so our birth plan was “Go to her former hospital with her when it’s time for the delivery.”

Sorry for the noob question, but what does Cruz do in the meantime? Just drift and wait? Do repairs?

Just replace “socialism” with “right-wing white nationalism,” and it’s a correct statement.

Costas also had that raging case of pink-eye during the Olympics.

Peeling off the shell is work enough.

Drew, just watch the Minneapolis Miracle 75,000 more times and take consolation that your team defeated a truly contemptible and vile team in the Aints, setting up New Orleans for an even worse playoff loss this year.

I don’t give a fuck what this blog is about: DREW IS BACK!!!

With the budget they have and Jonathan next in line to ownership, I wouldn’t bet against them staying above .500 [at least] for the foreseeable future.

Yes, and then they’ll degrade to the mediocrity of repeated 9-7 and 10-6 seasons and still represent the AFC East in the playoffs for another decade.

I know this is drifting away from the easy powder/butter/milk foundation for the cheese sauce, but hear me out:

nearly half of all Deadspin readers stand up to wipe their asses after shitting

Roth,

My daughter is 9 and her mom and I have done nothing to puncture her belief in Santa.

I’ll add this one, to supplement Barry’s suggestion of Ghost.
I played the shit out of this version this year, including the musical hiccup after verse 1:

I am very late to this party, but is this just Arena League-level talent playing on a regulation field, or what? 

| How did people get the idea that Leonard Cohen’s “Hallelujah” is a Christmas song and, more importantly, how do we make it stop? |

He should get run over by his own sled, pulled by that poor forced-reindeer-cosplaying puppy.

Rhode Island – Not really. Newport is pretty if you like assholes with sailboats.

Giving Pelosi the gavel again is essentially thanking the GOP for making her a pariah, and giving them another two years to keep it up.