I like people who can poke fun at themselves. This won me over.

Wow, did your home health aide type that for you? You should fire him or her, they can’t spell worth shit and make you somehow seem even more mentally challenged than you are.

You might try googling the concept of running jokes.

My husband is a Type 1 diabetic and once had a severe insulin reaction on a flight. We were at the back of the plane and he got super verbally combative with me when I tried to get him to drink a soda. He told me he was “about to go nonlinear” (which is as close to a threat as his gentle self gets) and I told him he…

...he’d been unable to sleep for 11 days.

Same. Plus, if he hadn’t slept for 11 days (!!!), he was clearly very, very impaired.

For some reason, this makes me sad.

Seems like the ‘discouraging students from coming forward’ has been pretty fucking advertent for awhile now.

Even if a survivor chooses to speak or take other actions to support their healing, we must not publicly comment in a way that could compromise student confidentiality or inadvertently discourage future students from coming forward.

Surely Gloria Allred has a necromancer on retainer. Maybe we’ll even get a performance of Comin’ Home Baby.

Before Lululemon we worked out nude and oiled like the ancient Greeks or in ballgowns like the ancient Carrington Colbys.

Fuck Lululemon and their overpriced, see-through, bougie bullshit. I have three pairs of offbrand workout leggings from Sports Authority that are exactly the same size, shape, color, and quality as when I bought them for like $30 in- no joke- 2008. If I’m spending $100 on a pair of leggings, I'm buying them directly…

Trump has said that Lewandowski will not be fired even if convicted.

Rupert Murdoch is terrible of course, but as far as I know he has never ordered someone’s murder by polonium poisoning. That’s a dealbreaker, ladies!

To me it is a telling detail that Johsson, the hero who intervened in a rape, is Swedish. Sweden may have many problems, but I have walked around Stockholm after midnight and felt really safe. No one harassed me in Sweden. They just don’t have the rape culture that we do.

So, the girl was unconscious when the police and ambulance crew found her, she testified that she was unconscious and remembered nothing, and the two guys who helped the girl (And who should be profiled as the kind of people who heroically intervened in a rape. That’s the psychology I want to know about. The person…

Peter Jonnson does. Apparently enough to chase down and subdue a “promising” athlete. Somebody make him head of the Dept of Justice or something

New rule: if you pen a story sympathetic to the accused party, you have to give one of the following disclaimers, with no hedging, hesitating or euphemistic language:

“Playing to the demands of Stanford female activists.”

“The prosecutor was playing to the demands of Stanford female activists.”HA!! HAHAHA! Like THAT’S ever happened. Right.