Old Bay and all She seasons. Long may She wave. Over crab cakes, over french fries, baked potatoes...

This is absolutely amazing, and far too long in the making. I am a liver transplant recipient and donation/transplantation advocate.

I bet you Obama would go to Trump’s funeral if it was held on a sinking ship.

Next time I see a guy in cargo pants I’m going to force him to build me a house. I mean, walking around looking all probably-owns-a-hammer...what did he think would happen? #CarpenterLookingAssBitch.

Yes, and they probably will. But the problem is that this sets legal precedent, so this “one time only” will become: “any time we need/want”. Even if everytime a different build for the tool is needed, this gives the Gov the legal precedent to ask for this any time they want. And soon enough they will just ask for a…

It’s one thing for an agency to provide data upon request. It’s quite another to be listed as a ‘co-author’ on a deeply flawed and highly political report

Wow, thank you for posting that. Rhymefest sounds like a good man and a good friend. I wish Kanye would listen to him.

It’s fun looking at that image to find all the things that are wrong in it. It’s like one of those “find the 6 differences” things.

Thank you. Maybe he figured if he buried the dippiest of dipshit ideas in that comma orgy, no one would notice how nanners it was.

Seriously, guys - I don’t like Kanye but the dude really needs help.

Count the motherfucking clauses in that sentence. Forget the horrifying shit show that was the topic, any editor who let that damn clusterfuck out the door should be fired on the spot for that alone.

Promise us that every boy will be named “Jesus”

...but there should be GF MREs for those with Celiac disease. Unless you want to render that person and the bathroom useless for the day.

The real story is that a totally real friend of mine used my absolutely real time machine to go back in time to talk to Mr. Trump’s mother.

Technically, it is approaching. In 11 months. He’s just getting a leg up.

I interviewed for a social work job, my first job interview since moving to a new state, and nearly wept when they talked about how much their services have expanded and how much expansion they're anticipating over the next year. I come from a state where I went to one of the best social work programs in the nation,…

Only Donald Trump would “evolve” on abortion based on the experience of a dude.

Apple should gladly oblige because it’s good, legal customer service

They CAN’T open the phone. CAN’T. Not WON’T.

They aren’t calling a locksmith. The closer analogy is that they’re calling the makers of the safe and telling them to start building the safes in a way that the government can access any of the manufacturer’s safes at any time in the future without having to call a locksmith.