rhinestoneeater
RhinestoneEater
rhinestoneeater

Steely Dan sounds creepy as fuck even when you don’t listen to the lyrics. But combine the lyrics with whisper singing and watery guitar and you have the musical version of a 51 year-old guy with a ponytail and a van and probably many vests, going to all of the local high school’s girl’s volleyball games. No, his

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Listen, the very notion that they’re genuinely “doing” anything is flattering to them. If they were serious about some sort of insurrection against government, they could—would—have picked virtually any other building in North America to start it. They don’t want a fight. They want to get interviewed on Fox News.

Ex-Texan here. I loved Blue Bell and think their Mint Chip is the best (love the salty chocolate), but the almost religious defense of Blue Bell’s disgusting factory and lousy practices is one of the most shocking recent things to come out of the south.

The same reason you’re not. She’s entertaining and funny.

Heb’s cocina. Stay a while. Cry a while. Reflect on the fact that Heb’s campaign is the equivalent of putting all of your helado in the pantry and all of your cereal in the freezer and all of your dreams in the garbage compactor.

You do know that she's a professional comedian right? A lot of what you're criticizing is part of her act. And you really think Kathy F'ing Griffin lacks confidence?! Wow.

OF COURSE the ice cubes in your vodka count as hydration. Add a lime and you’ve got some nice electrolytes. You can also get good exercise by getting off the couch for refills. This is my truth.

Well, *that* escalated quickly.

We all had that belt.

TAB did have sass. And I did have that sweatshirt. (My grandmom ordered it for me)

First they came for the sugar
and I did not care
because I had already given up sugar
Then they came for the carbs
and I did not care
because sourdough is expensive
Then they came for the meat
and I did not care
because really I prefer fish
Then they came for legumes
and there was no one left

I have an axe to grind, so bear with me:

Or was born without a butthole. And they truly deserve our pity and prayers.

Well it really depends on the dog.

No.

There is only one logical way to solve this - let the dogs decide. Leave a pair of (preferably worn and smelly) pants on the floor where your dog can try them on. Result: dogs prefer to wear pants internally. Now pay the emergency clinic $1500 to remove the blockage.

Counterpoint: Most (all) dogs are slobbering morons and would wear pants in the most counterintuitive way possible. You’d be like “Dummy, it doesn’t even cover your fucking ass, those pants make literally no sense” and it’d just stare at you blankly while thinking about the joys of eating its own shit.

The real question is...

are the pants blue or white?

I highly doubt these women see it as a waste of time given that no one coerced them into doing this. And who are you to decide what is or isn’t a wasteful life anyway?