Duchess of Braaaaaiinnnsss

have you never said something stupid before out of idiocy? Like, never crossed your lips, something dumb that sounded like something you didn't mean? I don't actually care about this actor, but I do care that no one seems to be allowed to accidentally say something dumb, offer a sincere and self aware apology, and be…

I got excited thinking it would be this Karen Walker:

I've never posted here before but always lurked. As a survivor of domestic violence, the responses here really sadden me.

is it the swingers group that is trying to relocate next to Goodpasture Christian School in Madison? It is all over local news and you gotta love that showdown!

Yes, still rude.

Damn sun damage. It's the worst.

OMG, don't even get me started on Miss Bunting. As husband and I were walking the dogs at like 6 this morning, I was all, "Fuck, that stupid school teacher was such an asshole," and he goes, "I hate that bitch." (Generally we don't really speak until about 7.)

I once had a scallion and cream cheese omelette. I wanted to go to the same restaurant the next day so I could have it again...

OH MY GOD THE DOLLAR STACK!! Sadly this is more common than you would think. I've encountered it several times over the years. But only once was I actually able to do anything about it.

The best omelette I've ever had was a scallion and cream cheese omelette at a dirty little diner in Hollywood Beach, Florida. I would fly back to that god-forsaken city just to eat that omelette again.

The problem is when you break a nail really far down, below the quick, it hurts like a fucking asshole to let it continue to break. So you do this so that you can eventually just grow it out instead of having Bleedy McStubbs as a pointer finger for 2-3 weeks.

Looks a lot less terrible than it would torn off below the quick. That shit hurts, too.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE only use glue designed for nails. You can get it everywhere from Walgreens to Sally's. Using superglue is potentially very dangerous. Superglue is a methylcynoacrylate that can break down in water, turn yellow, is carcinogenic, and is not intended for use on the human body.

In reference to the first story: One has not known "social awkwardness" until one has encountered "redneck swingers".

Imagine if they wanted their coleslaw freshly squeezed.

A few months after that, they broke up.

Right?! If any of my past dates ever did that, I would just walk the fuck out. That situation tells you everything that needs to be known about that guy. EVERYTHING.

Fuck you - I'd eat an omelette with ham and cream cheese and not feel any type of ways about it.

Oh god, I swear I had Coffee Latte's husband the other day. Never in my life have I felt the stupidity ratio in a room rise so rapidly as when this guy opened his mouth.