They’re trying to resurrect the magic of “Far Away.” It’s a game we olds used to play when Coke bottles were returnable. (I’m not that old, my mom taught me.)

I believe that’s shade. I’ll have to submit it for next week’s Shade Court to be sure, though.

I still do that. I hate when we have real bread, because I can’t stand having the Most Holy Body of Our Lord and Savior stuck in my teeth.

Mango is real pulpy. You just keep tipping it back and pouring until you get it all, unless you have one of those little strainers.

Exactly. Where I live, the county runs the liquor stores. They stick to the usual suspects.

Who taught you science?

Have you tried cold-brewed? It’s supposedly easier on your stomach, because cold water brings out fewer acids.

Bobbie Gentry is awesome. My friends played me this one album of hers, and it was genius. Or maybe I was just really stoned.

Oh, dear, you must be too young to have enjoyed SPY magazine back in the ’80s. This was an obvious homage.

Gah, I wanna go all Val Kilmer in Kiss Kiss Bang Bang: “Who taught you theology?!”

Hey now! Wilford Brimley is a fine actor and presumably a fine man. How dare you besmirch his name!

True. And his dad was super-hot!

I didn’t know they lived anywhere other than the DC area.

It’s those little details that make the real goal so transparent.

Oh, piss off, Killer of Joy. You go to a refugee camp in a wedding dress and feed 4000 people, you’re gonna make the evening news.

Aw, your mom’s cute. I lived in Nashville for 30 years and worked in the music business. Everyone I know has a story about cocaine-snortin’, pussy-huntin’ Christian rock bands.

Myrna Loy was a pip!

Not really; the NRA represents gun manufacturers’ interests. The rank-and-file are just the patsies.

Yeah, MoDo just hateses the Clintons. She pulled this out of her ass.

Secularism? What secularism? My church arrived at its LGBTQ inclusion via scriptural study, prayer, and discernment, the same way we arrive at all our policy decisions.