Olds FTW!

If you had that bone structure, you’d do it too.

He’s running for president. There are primaries in states other than Maryland.

Y’all, people were really fucking stupid then.

Aw, you’re so cute.

scholarship boy

Rihanna truly lives it up. She was in the mood for Cuban food and, oh you know, just flew over to Cuba like it was nothing to satisfy her craving.

You are cordially invited to achieve carnal knowledge of your own sorry self.

It’s worth doing just to get it out there.

That’s why she mad. Deep in her heart of hearts, she knows it’s true.

Yes! Accept no substitutes!

Yeah, no.

People flip their shit when a baby dies. My sister died in a fire at 23 months, and my family imploded. At one point, my dad had my brother convinced it was his fault, even though he was a 6-month-old babe-in-arms at the time.

Well, that’s the purpose! If it’s OTC, you have to pay for it yourself, slut!

Egg-zactly!

The Running of the Feti! It happens in Pamplona every year! Where have you been?

Years ago, there was an SNL sketch with tweenage girls arguing which Jesus was the dreamiest. I remember my mom was really offended by it. I thought it was hilarious. It wasn’t about Jesus, but about his representation.

Sadly, they’ve been overtaken by Polar, which has been chugging along for a jillion years. Their pomegranate flavor is heaven. I am eagerly looking forward to their limited edition flavas for Summer 2015.

Try Zenni Optical. They have some fun and funky acetate frames, and you can get tinted lenses. They’re dirt cheap, like, starting around $6.99.

Do they have to? The fliers include contact info for the relevant enforcement agencies.