As my granddaddy used to say, “Even a blind squirrel can fix a broken clock twice a day.”

A sight so uncommon, seeing it broke Beverly’s eyes.

This all looks bad, but at least he hasn’t dabbed on the football field. That would be classless.

That’s ok Barry, with FanDrool you can play one day puppy fantasy football and not worry about season long commitments!

“That bitch a boy” — Frank Clark, realizing he’d been swindled by yet another mail order puppy delivery service

“I can assure you that the Patriots have the best, most luxurious offense planned for next week. It’s gonna make your head spin it’s so good.”

Because politics never gets mixed with sports otherwise, like those referendums to fund sports arenas or the special taxation of athletes on visiting teams.

Congratulations, you have earned 100 dillars from Deadspon.

You know, maybe you’d be less exhausted about constantly having to defend your idiotic political values if you, y’know, had slightly less idiotic political values?

Brady is going to side with Trump, since that towel-head Cam Newton is a huge threat to Brady winning another Super Bowl.

Somewhere, a ‘STICK TO SPORTS!!1!!1!’ Deadspin commenter sits in front of a computer screen, sweating, unable to move, broken.

I asked my coworker, Tim Brady, what he thought about Trump and his plans for Muslims, and he told me to get the fuck out of his cubicle. Also I’m not a reporter. Can I still have $100?

I’d like to think that the entire city of Buffalo is just trolling Deadspin.

I don’t know if he’s a FA this offseason, but Bills fans obviously would love to get their hands on bush.

“I’m almost there, baby. You’re going to make me cum. Nope. Missed it. Almost there again. Nope, you missed. Third time’s the charm? No. Close again. Almost there. Missed it. Wide right. It’s just never going to happen with you.”

Is she ever going to hike him the ball? Wtf is going on.

I don’t mind his game, it’s that fucking mouth guard I hate. Wear it or don’t. Also I’m a Cavs fan, so fuck that guy.

Eh. I dunno. I hate to be an old guy saying “he could’t have played when men were men” ... But I just feel this is an And1 league now. This motherfucker shoots better than anyone I’ve ever seen - absolutely but there’s no contact anymore, he dances and poses and shoots not just from outside but in the damn key, and...…

It would just be “I got this” repeated over and over again, tone gradually increasing in desparation over the course of the game.

My 90-year old grandfather still goes to the gym five days a week. In his case, it’s inspiring and sweet because he’s trying to maintain whatever health he can. And he has no delusions about being a body builder or athlete.