Eli is a dad joke in human form so this all checks out.

Prediction: my wife is gonna get very annoyed by my usage of the term “butt meat” during the next few days.

He’s not even dumb in a baseball-specific sense, he’s just dumb in a general human sense. I usually land on the word “ditzy” when I am trying to convince people how much he sucks at this job.

I bet he gets this ironed out before the NBA regular season starts though.

Yeah this also works fine in Chrome, I don’t know why you’d need an extension for it. Under Settings —> On startup you just select “open a specific page or set of pages” and enter about:blank for the URL.

Jesus Christ Drew these videos and pics are like the Rule 34 of food porn.

John Henry (Red Sox) has thrown quite a bit at Dems over the years.

Deadspin commenters: good or bad?

Give me ‘89 Topps or give me death

As of 2012 anyway, around 60% of revenue went back to prize winners for Mega Millions.

Some guys’ bodies dehydrate quicker than others

They left out the neck bolts.

Eovaldi doesn’t have Instagram, though, so that wasn’t real beef

Thanks for the link. And hey, the only reason any of it carries meaning is because it ends at some point. Without death there is no life.

I’m convinced that the only reason anybody wakes up early to run is so they can casually mention it later.

The crazy thing is the Astros played pretty goddamn well overall, outside of the Ozuna collapse (which all happened after the eventual winning run had already been scored anyway). They put up good ABs, they got timely hits, they made insane defensive plays. The Sox just did every one of those things even better.

Oh yeah I only made that mistake once, believe me. I only mention grocery store sales specifically because the title of the post is “5 tips for choosing better beer at the grocery store.”

My thing is that coffee doesn’t just contain caffeine, there are other psychoactive chemicals which I do think subtly impact the experience. It just feels more well-rounded or something to me. Even a low dose of pure caffeine gives me a weird body load.

Because there are plenty of cases just like this where you can’t tell even on the replay. You need to have a default assumption in those cases or, I dunno, flip a coin?

I live in Kansas where all you can buy is near-beer 3.2% bullshit in the grocery store (they’re upping the limit to 6% next year, but still). It was quite a shock moving from NC where beer sales laws are awesome. Anyway.