“Oh, and Soulja referred to “Degrassi” as “DeGeneres” and I laughed through tears for 10 straight minutes."

I’m sorry, you said immigrants have cooties?

This is your friendly regularly scheduled reminder to thank the 53% who demand to speak to the manager, and their husbands for all of this. This is exactly what you all wanted and voted for. Ya’ll ain’t shit.

Exactly. Like, I don’t kno if anybody else could go into some stranger’s house... With little to no electricity, food prepared outside, consumed sans utensils, and be able to run off a list of the ingredients and spices smelled coming from the aroma, while giving a history lesson of where said ingredients came from…

I’d like to add Tony Bourdain posthumously to the list of good white people. He may be the only white person I’ve ever seen who willingly traveled the world to be with people of color and appreciate them for who they were as genuine human beings. I mean, who else could go to Vietnam, and drink a beer with…

The Root truly is petty goals. The images and scelreenshots you all manage to snatch and imbed in these articles... ‘tis an art form. I aspire to ascend to this level of petty when I grow up. #PettyGoals2019.

Oh no doubt. I stated in a different post that I briefly met Kitti Jones on one of the aforementioned tours. She was basically held prisoner and wasn’t seen much if at all. I remember backstage that nigga never allowed anybody to use their phones... Didn’t matter who it was. If you were caught using a phone or taking…

This dude is so problematic I don’t even know where to begin. I have stated here on the Root multiple times before that I unfortunately had the opportunity to witness some of this shit up close and in person since I worked a couple of his tours, so I will hold off on a more lengthy tirade. However, this line sums it…

Every time I see her i get happy. She’s so freaking gorgeous. Lordt. I just wanna be her friend. And Michelle Obama too. (Who is also freaking gorgeous. But I kinda want to actually be her when I grow up). *Sigh*

This mufukka has always been disturbing and I have always disliked his predatory ass with a burning passion. Those who know me know it’s no secret that I worked a couple of his tours years ago in the past. I used to go home really uneasy at times, because I knew just how terrible of a person this nigga was. One of the…

I kno the pictures that show the injury were probably taken in a time of distress, but like, I swear white women age like milk that’s already spoiled. Add in the racist component, and you get this, and #StabbyGabby who is THIRTYFUKKINGNINE... How, only meth knows. But Kristen with the bad lies here is 27. Younger than…

Cryin. Crine!!! I laughed hard at this.

This bitch worked for a skincare company and her skin looks like.... Well, most white women’s skin. What can I say.

“... Well, they actually have nice things, but they have a desperate need to make them nicer.”

This one did me in.

1. My mother

I see the Third Lady of the United States is at it again with her dreadful decorating skills. Year 1 the halls looked like a scene from a Tim Burton film, or every trailer for AHS. Year 2 the halls look like a scene from “The Shining.” 

Completely understand. My mother is from St. Thomas, and I lived in Costa Rica for a year. El Caribe don’t play with the coconuts. REAL coconut water directly from the coconut, with a straw sticking out of it? Is the best thing created. So I definitely get what you mean.

Definitely an all gender thing. Guys, you will definitely taste better. Your um, fluids will definitely be sweeter.

It’s relatively sweet. And smooth. I say probably sweeter than others, but you don’t have to go to Whole Paycheck or Trader Joe’s to find it. Can easily get it at Target.