The bags contain layoff notices.

INTERMISSION CURSES

link to puppy cam plz

("The poison I put in their water is working faster than I thought!")

Lame.

"Hey now."

"May a lesbian marry a gay man? My answer is ‘yes’ because in that instance the capacity to consummate the union is there."

MORE AERODYNAMIC

Yes. Especially those.

I thought that getting spanked was a common/nonnotable thing among people of my generation/geographical region/SES, but when I told my therapist about how I was spanked as a child a few weeks ago he reacted like it was the most interesting thing I ever told him.

"This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you. Not as much as the crown of thorns and all that jazz, but it will hurt me pretty bad."

Really. ANYONE OUT THERE WHO LIKES TO INFANTILIZED AND DISCIPLINED, PLEASE CARRY ON.

Both "packets" and "brochures".

"This is not a typical "spank" site. We are NOT a dating service, a list for personal ads, bratting, erotic stories, or alternate lifestyles."

Imhofe, dreaming about burning delicious crude oil or whatever.

This cover image appears to have been clumsily cut out of an issue of Penthouse.

"Sarah Palin has an audience in panicking slack jawed racists."

...posting pics of it on Craigslist?

HOLY CRAP YOU JUST DESTROYED FENIMISMS WITH THIS COMMENT THEY WILL BUILD A STATUE OF YOU LIKE THEY DID WITH MARTIN LUTHER KING I THINK

This comment is like a little fairy tale. Hardship, true love, happy ending.