"'Varsity-level combover artist'? That's mean."

Folk joke chokes.

There are literally dozens of folk music fans out there who are abjectly disappointed about this.

I would like some "HO disinfectant", please.

The sandwich is not the issue here, Dude. I'm talking about drawing a line in the sand, Dude.

Each funnier than the last!

Reading makes cramps go away. Now you know, Ry.

See also: any Reddit thread where a woman describes some of her personal (non-sandwich related) achievements.

"During the campaign, we had two strippers come to my house at 1 o’clock in the morning. Me and my wife both got up to address the situation."

Even goatees?

Hah! These men use rape as a threat but they don't actually know what rape is, having missed that day in Sex Ed.

This should be banned from porn as a "performance enhancing substance".

Yeah, why do you fenimists focus on the rapes that happen instead of the rapes that don't happen? Huh?

GAH CAN YOU AT LEAST SPELL YOUR SLURS CORRECTLY?

No. No excuse.

She looks like she wandered into the wrong room.

Pippa Middleton: red hot celebrity for 3 weeks, 2 years ago.

You mean the "snug look"? I think it preferable to the shapeless sacks most businessmen wear, bit it can go too far.

(Backing away slowly...)

I really like Zach Q.'s hair. Part it and comb it back during serious business time; pomp it when it's time to rock.