Pretty much this. And it depresses me that the worst opening ever for Marvel still handily beat the opening of Dungeons and Dragons, which was the best time I’ve had in the theater all year.

Isn’t he actually a cyborg with organic organs inside though? I recall he at least has a heart, maybe lungs though I guess I can’t swear to it. I mean look, I don’t want to defend it - I hate the prequels as much as anyone. But in this case I think the cough was meant as a clue to his gooey center.

I was never super interested in “The Problem” but this is a shit way for it to go out.

Still, maybe now Stewart might make the show I wanted him to make in the first place, and provide the thing the media is most sorely lacking right now - his interview skills. Stewart’s interviews were often the best part of his Daily…

*economic choice

“ Spy Kids: Armageddon isn’t as good as Spy Kids, but it’s better than all the other sequels.”

And as long as they’re doing TV they can throw in the Mitchell & Webb take for good measure.

“My god Poirot! She’s doing the Evil Voice!”

They’re ninjas. You’re not supposed to notice them.

I might also argue that you haven’t actually seen Connery play Bond if you’ve only seen Diamonds Are Forever. He was clearly just in it for the paycheck by that point.

Hot Shots! Part Deux is absolutely the magnum opus of the genre. Airplane may be funnier on balance, but Part Deux is smarter. From bone-dry 4th wall breaks (“She’s CIA. The other man’s an extra.”) to grim-faced idiocy (“I can’t walk, they’ve... tied my shoelaces together.” “...Bastards.”) to Simpsons-level…

They are remakes, full stop. This semantic game is silly and only exists because of marketing people trying to dance around stigmatized terms. They are making them... again. Re-making them. Remakes. The fact that remakes can come in a wide variety of faithfulness, from Cronenberg’s reimagined The Fly to Van Sant’s…

Yeah, we guys had to go through that with Candace Cameron. Ugh indeed

“Not every movie based on recognizable I.P. needs to be a universe unto itself”

The Muppets are really the perfect vehicle for an adaptation like this. They can easily manage the tonal shifts and 4th wall winking required and come pre-packaged with exactly what a ride most sorely lacks - beloved characters with actual personalities. Instead of trying to follow that with a “real” Haunted Mansion…

I think this is a misunderstanding of how the Trek thing works. It’s not that even films are all good and odd all suck. It’s that any given odd film will be lesser than the even films adjacent to it and vice versa. So... 3 is good but less than 2 or 4. 10 is weak but better than 9. Etc.

Ok you’ve got my attention. But... Jackie Chan? How long will it take before Hollywood finally realizes there are plenty of Japanese actors to choose from when Ken Watanabe isn’t available?

Acquire at will, commander

I have opinions on this issue, but I took one look at that For Your Consideration and thought, "even on such a hub of rational discourse as the AV Club, I'm not going near that comment section with a 10 foot cattle prod."

World of Tomorrow Never Dies

Oh. This is serious. I assumed this was gonna be like a CollegeHumor video or something.

"Nobody… calls me 'Yankee'"