Keep it up with the bad puns and your account will be suspendered.

The only aliens allowed at Augusta are the grounds crew.

“I will be able to say ‘I’ve shared a bath with a Masters winners”

Steve Nash, who the Warriors actually hired this season just to mentor Curry and the guards.

Did she post this course on MapMyRun?

Your mom slapped another massive donger. MY MASSIVE DONGER.

Correa’s homer off the tinted windows of the sports bar in center field went 462 feet according to Statcast (459 feet by ESPN’s reckoning).

Mouthing “bang” while looking unimpressed is also how my son was conceived

The very act of getting a DUI is “making a fool out of yourself”. Let’s not hand out bonus points because she acted calmly about it.

yeah, but ... who the fuck else could she even pretend to blame? the bartender? the liquor store clerk? she drove drunk. “I take full responsibility for my actions.” thanks, (former) Captain Obvious.

That just shows how little you know about us True Americans, Alejandro.

Jozy’s most clinical finish in years.

Meanwhile Landon Donovan tweeted that it was somehow all Jurgen Klinsman’s fault.

Totally unfair. A poli sci degree is a great path to six figures of law school debt.

As a Poli Sci graduate, i say i are offended..you are bad stupid.

If these kids have to continue to go to college (which is stupid, true, but probably inevitable), then why not start certificate programs that might actually help with one, two, and three year plans? Basic marketing, business, money management, public speaking, how about some athletic training classes? If I had my…

I am so tired of all the NFL players dating each other openly and having sex with each other before during and after all their matches. I miss the days when a quarterback would marry his favorite football and then stay married to it until the football had sex with a referee and the quarterback had to throw them both…

What about bears? We’re supposed to get bears on Friday.

Not sure it’s disrespect. They are paid salaries (not mentioned in the chart above), which very few (if any) other women’s national teams receive. They get medical and nannies and maternity leave and severance pay. They are often the top paid employees of USSF. And the women negotiated this agreement.

I'm glad those coed leagues gave you such valuable perspective.