Dear Apple:

Your 'Mistaken' Educator might very well be responsible for the graphic up there, because Earth is actually third out from the sun, not fourth.

Yeah, but she's in front of a green screen, she really can't see what she's pointing at.

Congratulations!

"His Wall Street executive wouldn't be a Wall Street executive without a requisite level of intelligence."

Actually, planes are designed with Pinto Theory in mind. You'll probably survive intact for a simple belly landing, but otherwise you and your fellow passengers are cheaper dead. The last thing an airline wants (obviously besides a crash) is to have the extended life supporting medical bills of 250+ passengers who…

And it's not just toast!

I'd rather Ms. Trammel's white one, but this is still a NP in my book.

Why is Earth's orbit beyond Mars?

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Where is the unicorn?

There's a European Ford that looks even more identical, but I don't recall off the top of my head what it was called.

I'm basing it more on the bland looks than the specs

Why yes, you're absolutely correct...

Ten grand for a ten year old Contour???

Capitalism = Slavery

I'll take "Uses of Weed and Alcohol" for a thousand, Alex.

Is that a coolant stain AND a dirty overflow tank?

The 'a' before the word 'feature' in your last iteration of the title does not belong there.

Thanks for the compliment, dude. Just having a little fun last night - me and a couple beers decided to see what it'd be like to be a fanboy.