Fuck Alex Trebek. ...And fuck football.

Steve Wynn’s face looks like a Madame Tussauds escapee on a hot summer day.

*raises hand

I won’t pretend to consider anything the current White House tells me to be true, but this weight seems reasonable. Fat weighs less than muscle, and I highly doubt our president has an ounce over the life-sustaining bare minimum of the latter hidden beneath his orange skin.

Holy moly, those lightning bolts on his suit look like they’re made out of the same glow-in-the-dark puffy stickers my niece loves to play with.

I sincerely wish I was still young enough to think wasting $300 to spend a few hours 100 feet away from a famous person was a good idea.

Holee shit! That’s fantastic.

My home also spent a number of years in immaculate condition. I see the photos of others, and am eternally grateful.

Or it’s just that nobody had thought to try it before, so they didn’t even consider the possibility.

Oprah Winfrey asking me for money would be warning enough. Doesn’t she already have most of it?

I laughed out loud. (Some might consider it more of a cackle.)

Thanks for (almost 2 years ago) reminding me about that fantastic Target campaign. This one was always my favorite.

Damn. I was in complete agreement with the OP, but you make a very solid point.

Fair enough.

I’m suddenly much more at ease regarding the current mouse problem in my apartment.

You’re not a “big picture thinker”, are you.

Such dirty minds people have. It’s only a penis if you want to see a penis...Personally, I’m going with “Reminder string tied around finger”.

That’s not a typo. That’s a vocabulary mistake. Assuming you consider yourself a professional writer, you should learn how to own them with more grace when you make them.

Impressive. I hadn’t thought my opinion of Mr. Seagal could go any lower.

You warned us, but I looked anyway.