Hell yeah! Accountable to no one but le me. Now I’m going to watch the Dancing with the Stars finale on commercial free Hulu, take a xanax and fall asleep maaaaad early.

Flyin solo in nyc.

I can vouch for that. I have enjoyed you occasionally.

I think I helped. I feel mighty!

I’m here tomorrow! Don’t know what’s happening after that, but you can follow me on Twitter or check out my work at Uproxx.

Mark, you’ve got to get me out of the greys. I don’t know what happened but it must be some sort of mistake. I’m intermittently beloved!

I remember you, Erin Ryan, when you were just a wee little sproglet with a funny upside-down avatar and a way with words that no other Jezebel commenter could match. I remember you. I watched you grow and grow, and felt so much tender pride in your talent and shit-talking that you’d think they were my own fucking…

It will continue, Anna and Julianne will run it, and I couldn’t be more excited for what they do in the future.

Jezzies, I know this isn’t an open thread, but your resident celebrity due to being a comedian and the reincarnation of Elvis has a huge painful lump growing on her forehead and no one knows what is is. Send love and macarons stat.

Isn’t this one of the subplots in Traffic?

Don’t cry because it’s over, cry because I’m going to grey the shit out of everyone before I go.

Oh, forgive me. I didn’t realize you were an asshole.

My dad used to joke when I had braces that all I needed in addition to those railroad tracks were glasses and then I would never find a husband.

God, that was beautiful and so moving. That she put such focus on how those assaults take something from us that can’t be replaced- that we are deeply impacted in our lives by these sexual assaults- made me cry.

“If folks wanna pop off & have opinions about what they think they would do, present a specific plan” - Pres Obama

Jerking off to the thought of denying refugee children entry to America.

I just started a new job a week ago. Went to a training day a couple of days ago but everyone else on the training day had been in their post a few months, as opposed to four days. I hadn’t even been put on the company system or had any of the documents and I didn’t know any of the job terminology or have access to…

I wish i could be more vocal in public about my absolute hatred for the church. Until a year ago, everyone i knew was Mormon. My facebook feed is still 90% mormon.

The only thing that keeps me from just going ham online and letting everyone i was once affiliated with know how much i fuck despise that monument to my…

Three! Three families!

OMG are you married to MisterDisco?