I am sincerely proud that the rest of Milwaukee seems to, by the numbers, detest Meghan Trainor as much as me. I guess I'm nothing if not a product of my environment.

Jeanine Pirro? Why didn't anybody say Jeanine Pirro? Can I please write about why Jeanine Pirro is the absolute worst?

By NO MEANS is he the best Sean

This is an article that sure doesn't have much of a reason to exist.

Goddammit, that's a good strategy. You've taken the floor from underneath me already. Well, I'll try anyway.

Well, I don't consider it defensiveness - I just think the fat thing is invalid at this point. But by all means I encourage people to hit us for our drunkenness. That is admittedly well deserved. I'm half drunk to full drunk most days between December and April, myself.

Pervy, what state are you from? I'd like to make the most obvious possible joke about it, if you wouldn't mind.

Can we get over this thing about Wisconsin being fat? I mean, I don't even think we're in the bottom quartile anymore. I think that scorn belongs to Mississippi, who sorely deserves it.

I think I'd be much likely to find work in this country if I hadn't been born here…

What does he MEAN he's spent a lot of time in Wisconsin? And, consequently, why haven't Bob Odenkirk and I hung out yet?!