Everything you need to know about where this franchise is headed can be gleaned from the opening paragraph (THIS WAS THE FUCKING OPENING) of a profile of their owner.

Traveled to Chicago last year to see the Cardinals play the Bears. I wore this shirt to the game, along with a Cardinals hat and jacket, so I thought it would be clear I was trying to mock their team. Instead, about 500 Bears fans were giving me high fives, asking where I got the shirt, and even offering money to buy…

OK. So what’s wrong with Patton Oswalt?

Professional wisdom suggests that if this is advice you are considering, you should actually be having zero drinks at parties, and also everywhere else.

The green trunks?

I mean, I’m pretty sure I have proved you wrong, by stating that you haven’t actually seen the film.

I feel sorry for you. May god have mercy on your soul.

OK but it’s life after they died, right? You can call it “a limbo” but I don’t see how “afterlife” is really inaccurate.

“You know this $200 million investment that fans are excited about and is tracking fantastically? We found a fanboy plot hole! Can’t have the movie! Shut it down. Shut it all down. Burn everything.”

cool story bro. (9738)

Yep, it’s confirmed, wonder woman will have boobs that catch the light. Her face, not so much.

Yeah, no. I’m all about less grimdark in the DCU, but this is the Powerpuff Girls. Not for me.

Sir, I don’t believe you get Deadspin...

That was kind of the point

Even more ridiculous that Gammons would be nominated for worst tweet when that was obviously the best tweet of the year.

OK, I can't relate to what it's like being black, because I am not. But this just seems crazy to me. If fellow citizens are afraid to play Pokémon, there's something wrong with that. Not sure what I am trying to get across, either this is an exaggeration or I am seriously underestimating what black people feel afraid…

There are Americans here as well who’d like a break from this shit too.

This may come as a bit of a surprise, but there are non-Americans here who don’t want to have our horror discussion intruded upon by actual American horror that we don’t care about.

South Park made Timmy and Jimmy peers of the main characters. They are not defined by their disabilities, and are annoyed at those who try talk down to them. Jimmy was the hero of a recent season, in which he stands up for freedom of the press at a time when a cowardly town could have cared less.

I guess in lieu of making something people actually like, you can intentionally under-perform and call it really edgy satire. I know when I’m insecure about the results of my efforts, I sometimes self-sabotage them - for example, if I’m making a piece of functional furniture and I want it to turn out way better than I…