I’m so tired of hearing about this “lifestyle.” If God wanted us to run, why are our asses so big and comfortable? Q.E.D.

omg

Doogie Atticer

True that, 16 years ago me was wrinkle free and now me looks like Yogi Berra’s catcher’s mitt. From 1951. That somebody’s been using everyday since then.

yep yep yep. that is THE fucking key. i’ve said it time and time again on this site. black people love giving white people props even if they’re just good, and not great, at whatever black cultural expression they’re doing. go to an hbcu and see a white girl with some rhythm. Black people will gas her THEE fuck up. Go…

Also, you have to read it at a coffee shop while muttering “hmmm” and “thought provoking” under your breath.

Otherwise you’re just a pervert.

That bear is not that handsome.

No. I’m like...

You’re criticizing her ‘cause she got to fuck Idris Elba!??

We gon’ light some candles tonight
Very special
We gon’ do whatever you like
Very special
Got some Henney chillin’ on ice
Very special
Hope you make the rest of my life
Very special (hoo oh)
Very special (hoo oh)
All night...

obligatory.

No longer an oraphan.

Arbor Mist-loving husband

My Arbor Mist-loving husband would inhale this, and now I’m off to google “bourbon slushies” so I have something to drink too.

Because it is their drink and they can do whatever the hell they want with it.

And don’t forget to highlight that “peaches & cream complexion” in the portrait.

My birthday is in May. Please make sure I’m a “pefect size 6" in the picture and that the lighting really captures my “golden blonde locks” and “Aquamarine eyes”

You don’t have to cosplay Square Dad. No matter what you do, you will be Square Dad. No matter how cool you are as an individual, you will be Square Dad. If you have kids, Square Dad-dom is an inevitability.