Growing up, I always thought the point of gingerbread houses was to make them, decorate them, take a picture, then destroy them with a hammer and put gingerbread and frosting into the mouth part of your face until you can't do that thing anymore. Then I discovered people who just decorate them and let them sit out…

"and no white people took it seriously" you mean

"and no one took it seriously" or at least you hope.

I want to fart on this guy after a week of eating nothing but pepperoni and dried fruit.

I wish this was a cartoon and I could sit on him and crush him under the weight of my magnificent hard working bubble booty.

I shudder for the people who will think you're serious.

Hah. If there were no big-assed Jews, most of my family wouldn't exist.

I like your pic and I hope there's a strain somewhere called Leslie Dope.

One of them is typically a brighter, more distinct coffee for the adventurous, and the other is typically still distinct, but a more approachable, simple espresso.

Some commenters think they have valuable contributions to provide. This commenter, not so much.

I actually have to side with her on this one. Maybe get a different job, but for damn sure, don't go into food service. It's a nightmare.

Nah, dude, that's the honest truth.

i need dave to dox himself rn so i can love him

I think this is the best advice right here.

You asked. I answered. Sorry if the tone/response is not to your liking.

Do you want to lose your love of cooking because it's now what you do to make minimum wage?

No. You should not. Being an excellent cook is about 10% of being a successful chef. The rest is being able to thrive in a thoroughly fuck-up environment.

So by skimming it you missed the funny bits, then came here to say it wasn't funny. Good one!

cranky old people are just a delight, aren't they?

Someone needs to give Dave Hogan a publishing contract. That story was masterfully written and incredibly funny. I could feel the teenage anxiety wafting off it. Bravo, sir. Bravo.