I genuinely love the fact that in the UK, "Simple as." is a perfectly reasonable, logical sentence all on its own.

What happened to 1-66, and why is it so critical that we abort 67?

Let's all marry that lady, it won't be weird

MARRY ME, LADY.

You should also know about this shitbird: in the aughts he dated fellow CPC MP Belinda Stronach. They broke up mid-decade, in a split that caused her to cross the floor to the Liberals (not sure on the chicken-egg there).

It was about ethics in gaming journalism.

One of my first "real" jobs was working at a Dairy Queen in high school. We weren't a full Braizer Burger DQ, in fact they've since turned into a DQ/Orange Julius/no hot food establishment. (Probably for the best - not going to lie.)

I have plenty of stories involving restaurant staff being shown a penis, but my probation officer would disapprove of any sort of 'relapse.'

most of my restaurant penis stories involve sexual harassment, however, one time at the end of the week my coworker was slicing sausage and he kept smiling at me. We just kept working and he just kept smiling. And I finally noticed he had hung a huge sausage from his fly. I still laugh and it's been a decade.

All I have to add is a story about working in a large Mexican restaurant. And every time you'd get some asshole complaining about there being "cheese in the cheese enchiladas," or, cussing a waitress out for 10 minutes because she put too little ice in your soda, or, asking why the fried sopapillas are, in fact,…

The bread story reminded me of my own. When I was much younger I was a server in an Italian restaurant. The bread there was insanely popular, it was fresh-made pretty much every day and patrons would come by just to buy bread to take home. Now the owner, who made all the bread, was a heavy smoker. One morning I…

WHERE IS THAT RUSSIAN GUY TO SAVE THAT POOR BREAD

I tell people I have celiac, not because I am sensitive to gluten but rather because I don't want to get herpes from the flatbread.

And who kneads a yeast infection? Not me.

One of the things I've learned over the years, even as a straight man, is enormous penis owners are happy and eager to show off their wangs to anybody and everybody.

That's an innovative way to get a yeast infection.

...he save bread...?

veritable penile cornucopia

When I served in the Navy, actually on a ship, I witnessed the unspeakable.