You lose your poker hand and I pass the appropriations bill! Muahahahaha!

Why don't they ever combine two mediocre shows to reboot them at once?

Look, all I know is that there are three words in the English language that start with the letters "dw"…

*Citation needed.

So, uh, they used to put those on Life cereal boxes, too…

I declare this patient to be in dire need of refreshment.

You used savor twice in three verses! You're fired, Durst!

So, when you say, "taking the state bar exam"…you mean taking the night class so you can serve drinks at the TGI Friday's, don't you?

T. Hawk from Street Fighter is super jealous.

Nope. He gets mad bees.

I'm all for this Wheaton character. On paper, he's got a lot of good things going for him.

I was all amped up for Warren to run in 2020…and then I realized that she's a year older than Hillary. Need some new blood.

"America, I am here today to announce…

The thing is, if the dude's leasing the car direct from Uber to do the driving, and then Uber decides to cut his rates after he's locked into paying off that lease, being like, "Well, I really shouldn't have started driving for this shitty company." isn't exactly a great salve.

It isn't, but you also figure the boss could "profoundly" apologize to the dude he shit on by like, looking him up in the company directory and calling him.

For crime, yeah.

I'm ok with 3 violent strikes. I'm not cool with 3 strikes of any kind.

No, that was the one part he was actually impressed by. It was all the repurposed Asian mysticism and mythology he was commenting on.

So, if he's actually innocent, he wins his court case, and in public he should be sorry that this incident had progressed to the point. No defiance, and he absolutely, positively cannot use any variation of the phrase, "I'm just happy to move on with my life.", as it undercuts literally all the genuineness of your…

I'm pretty sure you're missing the context of that statement. Bernice is referencing the fact that milk tea is neither a creation of China, nor is it British, it's a separate creation of Hong Kong.