"Hey! Something shiny in that hole!"

@Baby_Seal_Clubber: *boos and throws popcorn*

Stud Beefpile! Plank Rockbody! Big McLargehuge!

#1. Down with the joke-block.

@TracyHamandEggs!: Oh yeah, totally! Right there, above the engine. You just have to get closer to see. No, closer. A little bit more...

@Dead Wrestlers Society: I dunno. ex-Bow Wow is just about old enough to remember the power of the move.

@Capt Virgil Hilts, @SelfWrighteousMetsFan: I don't know these things. I don't really care about the idiot [Cook]. Every joke is stolen from somewhere/someone, after all.

@Sports-Pun: I was going the Dane Cook route for a cheap laugh. My brain's a bit dead today.

And then the kid tried to play it off like he didn't just fall over the fence.

He reacted by making it rain with bottles of Coca-Cola. Reformed, indeed.

Still beats having William Hung.

@BigTenObsession: Oh yeah, that reminds me.

@Capt Virgil Hilts: Dammit, too slow again.

@The Teufel Shuffle: and Mark McGwire is nodding sagely in the background.

Given that I know nothing of college football, my strategy of rooting only for teams whose names are classic song titles is working out perfectly.

I disagree strongly with this list! (Actually I have no idea).

@Weed Against Speed: Consult a doctor if your confidence and power lasts longer than four hours.

The bats look nice, but I'm a little hesitant to spring for one of those walnut cup/supporter combos. I'm not sure if the safety and class is worth the splinters.

Axl was interviewed about it, but between all the drugs and his ten-year writing cycle, he didn't have any idea these songs ever existed anyway.

Waiter! There seems to be some Gizmodo in my deadspin. Could you please bring me a fresh bowl?