Trump has really helped me understand my own family better and vice-versa...which is so much sadder than it sounds. 

This comment also applies seamlessly to Ben Roethlisberger’s career.

We’re needed to protect the rest of you.

But does he respond to a phishing scam by resetting his password to “password”?

Thanks for keeping the Bills from being the most dysfunctional team in the league, buddy.

the guys weren’t even that nice

Champion.

WINE CORK WRAPPED IN PAPER TOWELS, ELECTRICAL TAPE & A CONDOM

I’m guessing it’s full of “Good n Plenty” but he’s ashamed to admit it because who likes that crap?

Right now, our focus is on our game tomorrow against Houston

“I’m disappointed that this issue has brought undue attention to our football staff as we prepare for our upcoming bowl game.”

I say let him keep racing. He’s got a Rosie future.

Where does watching the Wizards play rank?

I must say I’m starting to have some doubts about this Trump gentleman. I initially quite liked his idea to make America great again; I was lucky enough to visit the country recently and I rated it only “very good” rather than “great” (I knocked a mark off because the hotel kept forgetting to change our towels and…

In the next segment, Giuliani maligned men who are “touchy feely”

To be fair there has been a huge uptick in Lundqvist jersey burnings lately.

Finally, a Frank Stallone for the Millenial generation.

I did not know Boban was that desperate to obtain the Philosopher’s Stone....

With diminishing returns on all the Danadrol, HGH, and testosterone he’s been taking to extend his career, a desperate Bartolo Colon turned to the one PED he hasn’t yet tried, Uranium-238.