Wait, why wouldn’t you listen to the Deadcast religiously? It’s the best thing on this site BY FAR.

Nearly five months ago, I suffered a severe brain hemorrhage while I was just standing around at a work party. When I collapsed, I fractured my skull.

/leads with a list of things you can never do for the rest of your life, like play hockey or watch Star Wars

Does the best team ever win the Stanley Cup?

Yes, it’s an unusual injury from a cross-check. But if a cross-check results in a serious injury, the player who committed the violation needs to be ejected. That’s the chance a player takes when he puts another player in peril by committing a penalty.

You got screwed in the playoffs.  Congratulations, you’re officially an NHL franchise.

Holy shit! That was the most fun I’ve ever had at a professional sporting event! Everyone lost their minds after the second goal once the Sharks were back into it, then when they scored the equalizer to quickly people were going nuts: high fiving, hugging, crying in the aisles, a fat lady barfed in her purse, I’m…

One of those truly seminal moments* that justifies all the dumb shit involved in following sports.

To be fair to Leaf fans, they have the one thing I as an Islander fan never will and will always covet. Despite their decades of futility at least fans of other teams in the league believe their team should exist.

As a traditionalist, I'm just glad the Cup will stay in its ancestral homeland for another year.

To think we would get Endgame, the big Night King battle, and a game 7 Toronto loss all in the same week.

As a Canadian, allow me to say...

Good.

I get it, I hate the Lakers as much as anyone else, but if somebody gives you a signed Kareem jersey, you gotta hang that one up. I’m assuming the worst case situation is somebody sees it in your house and is like “oh, are you a Lakers fan?” and you simply say “No, I actually do not like them at all. This was a gift…

Self Check-out/ express:

The best way to change up the first round of the playoffs would be to let the top seed choose their opponent. Then the No. 2 seed chooses next (assuming the top seed doesn’t choose the No. 2 seed, in which case the No. 3 seed would get next choice), etc. You’d get all kinds of fun “they don’t respect us!” takes, plus…

Better question: is The Lake House a sci-fi movie? It also has time travel (sort of)! And Keanu.

“My wife and I separated about seven months ago, but we’re staying married until she gets a full-time job so she can stay on my very excellent health insurance (she freelances now). In the meantime, I’ve dipped my toe into the dating scene again”

Westbrook is a jerk.

Please settle a debate: Is Back to the Future a sci-fi movie?

It’s fine. In fact, his anti-media stance is part of his overall personality as a player and as much of a story in itself as anything he’d say. Like the article mentioned, there’s not much danger of this becoming a league-wide epidemic, and I think it’s kinda necessary like you need “good guys” and “villains” on the…