He would just yell it out anytime Ron was on screen.

my VERY catholic grandmother is always “hate the sin, love the sinner” ummmm maybe just love the person and don’t worry about whether or not you think they’re sinning.

Candace is a nice homophobe, not a mean one. How dare you not be nice to her? She’s just a simple American girl who believes that dirty lesbians shouldn’t be allowed to violate her religious freedoms by eating blueberry, lemon scones from a bakery.

Shut up Candace. You’re as homophobic as they come. You’re just smart enough to realize that shit won’t fly in 2017.

I think most of my dates can already see my binder. I am attempting to hide it better, but it is a cumbersome and unwieldy foe.

A friend of my MIL sent a letter with talcum powder in it to another friend as a prank right after the whole anthrax scare happened.

What the FUUUUCK about not wanting your child to be bullied is connected to helicopter parenting, you fucking asshole?

Ah, the emotionally abusive misdirect. My shithead biological parents pulled this on me at Christmas when I was around 8. We were poor so I was never the kind of kid who wanted anything really badly becuase I never had much hope I’d get it. Well, that year, I desperately wanted a Sega Genesis. When it wasn’t under the…

I’ve only had one major prank pulled on me, and it was one of the best things that’s ever happened to me. Six years ago, my friends convinced me that my senior thesis was due on April 13th rather than May 2nd. Fake letter from the math department with a very convincing explanation that they snuck into my locker. I…

My ex used to work as a security guard at an oil refinery. One day (I don’t even think it was April 1) he called in a fake bomb threat as a joke.

This is not an April Fool’s story but my brother and I are Irish twins (a prank unto itself) and one summer night when we were both 7 for a few weeks we had a very nice teenage girl babysitter. Her teen friends typically thought they were funny and were going to prank our sitter by coming over after dark and tapping…

It was the first the first sign of many that I shouldn’t be married to the person. He was clueless as to why I was so, so, so pissed off about it.

About 5 years ago, a co-worker thought that it would be hilarious to encase my $500 keyboard in jello (it had been a gift). Needless to say, the keyboard was wrecked. I had to fight to get him reprimanded and for the company to pay to replace the keyboard.

That’s fucked up and I am picturing the kids on the editorial board laughing about it. In my head they are all wearing blazers and loafers and look like Paul Ryan.

I called my mom from a friend’s house post-sleepover (pre-cellphones). She asked where I was and I said, “um well I’m in jail, we got arrested last night.” I waited a few beats for her to scoff and say, no really, where are you? But the joke was on me because she just sighed and said, “Oh molarplexus, what is it you…

Cornell, my alma mater, is a private land-grant university meaning that generally, tuition is astronomical but they have big in-state tuition discounts for certain subsidized programs, which is how my family could afford to send me there. The school paper always prints a fake edition on April 1, but I was so stressed…

My then husband had been in a severe industrial accident where both of his hands were crushed, one thumb was severed and he had several surgical pims and a plate put in. Needless to say he couldn’t care for himself for months and due to some worker comp schenangans he had no income either. It was an extremely…

Didn’t happen on April Fool’s day, but it should have. A few years ago, my daughter was flying home from college to visit for a few days. I bought her ticket, but it was cheaper to fly her into CT than NY, so I arranged to have my mother pick her up at the airport.

To kick this off, you must know I have a paralyzing fear of ET. My junior year of high school, my “friend” aka person who I hated but tolerated because it was a small school and she was friends with my friends, stole my car keys from my backpack during lunch and slipped them back without me noticing.

This will never show up. because I’m gray, but it is the shittiest prank anyone has ever pulled, IMO. Partly because it happened not on April Fool’s day, but on my birthday.