I think I had been playing the original Witcher for three days before I noticed almost every humanoid male monster has a dick, complete with a dick's floppy physics. I couldn't stop cracking up (and endangering Geralt) during fights for almost a week after that. It was as much because I hadn't immediately noticed as…

I remember when he went into rehab in 2004. I'm sorry that he's back to (as you rightly identify it) not being able to manage his disease.

'...investigating the mater'. That is a rare perfect typo, my friend.

oh, Jesus. That bag of tools. I hadn't popped open another tab to see check why he sounded familiar because I wanted to finish the comments first. I remember him all too well now.

Don't be so cynical. Rupert Murdoch's people might have hired him to write copy about the current President for all of Murdoch's media outlets.

That's why I was so confused by this announcement. Yesterday was its own massive whirlwind drama over here*, so I spent about twenty minutes searching the news about Harper Lee. I finally gave up and erred on the side of friendship because I knew the recent loss of Alice had been pretty damned hard on the family. …

I'm friends with one of her great-nephews, Marshall Lee. When Marshall and I talked about the family connection (he was showing me the copy of TKM she had given him) years ago, he said her specific request had been for her second novel to only be published after she died. Her reasons were a) she never wanted to hear…

I have never done that with another actor and character. I was a high school senior when it came out and still young enough to have not seen that betrayal coming. OMG. I reached my life's peak teenage high dudgeon when they discovered the money was gone. It was SO UNFAIR. I specifically stuck around to watch the…

The shortest, politest version I can offer is that Sandy Hook truthers are fucking lunatic anti-Obama NRA cultists who insist that the government was actually behind that particular mass murder as part of a sekrit plan to take away their guns. There are some variations available, including one that states that no…

Back when I was in university and working as a RA, we were given the info in training that, with some students, claiming veganism is a way to mask the start of anorexia. A couple of years later, this turned out to be exactly the case with a friend of mine. #notallvegans, I know, but it really is a scarily effective…

I saw someone make a pretty fair argument that Brad Pitt is quietly the real-deal unconventional, dedicated, pretty cool guy that we all thought Johnny Depp was until the Amber Heard period of his life began. (Full disclosure: mostly I was impressed with this argument because it took me over two decades to stop…

I hate when people use the shortened version of my first name without at least asking if I have a preference. I do have a preference — I like the full version of my name, not its more commonly used nickname, and the fact that I use the full version whenever I introduce myself should be a big damned hint as to my…

Those are the dudes I describe as having the Petruchio Complex. I avoid them like the plague they are.

My last relationship ended at the end of '95, back when I was 22. I am months away from hitting the twenty-year mark of being single. KNEEL BEFORE ZOD.

(This is actually the life I've wanted, so the above comment isn't based in complaint or remorse. I don't mind the thought of being in a relationship. I've just…

I lived briefly in Jackson Hole, WY, where Ford would occasionally pop in to get schnockered at this bar with saddles for bar stools whenever Jimmy Buffet did a show there. My time there is how I learned he made happen the greatest 'GET OFF MY LAWN'. Ford bought up all the land around his then-home and donated it on…

I have no idea what chat show this is from, but I love how Ford has aged into pretty much THE archetypal curmudgeon. He's glorious in his grumpy-old-manness.

Posted this in the wrong place, so here I got again: I have bursitis in both hips, lesions on my femurs and pelvic bones, and my right labrum has alternately ruptured and calcified into bone. Sitting with my knees together hurts like hell because of the additional strain it adds. I still manage to do it on public…

Posted this in the wrong place. Sorry, sorry.

I hope Mrs Woodhouse has been made aware that her call made the entire Internet's day.

If there is a third sibling, that particular person has just been given the early Christmas gift of a lifetime.