*Elrond angrily retweets Celebrimbor's address*

I really hope they include that clip of Arnold yelling "My body, my choice!"

"Everything's perfectly all right now. We're fine. We're all fine here, now, thank you. How are you?"

As sappy as it sounds, I still tear up a little every time I read "The New Colossus." Mother of Exiles indeed.

No, unfortunately, since Adrien Brody prevents this via dazzling piano techniques. But now I've said too much.

Spoiler Alert: Jack Black is the final boss that Kong does battle with.

Two of things of note that I thought should be mentioned, lest they get buried beneath the wiretapping fiasco. The first is that the White House has offered to preserve federal payments to Planned Parenthood, but only on the condition that the group stops providing abortions. Planned Parenthood has declined this…

Noted author and sometime president Donald Trump would very much prefer that you pay no attention to the Russians behind the curtain. Instead, he wants you all to peruse this tremendous book, “Green Card Warrior,” which he considers a “must read.” And what exactly is this tome of wisdom, you ask? The author, Nick…

But will Ewan McGregor get cast as his bumbling apprentice?

C'mon Trump, you got what you wanted. Give these people air!

No sequel for him.

Oh Star, I know that smile all too well, sans the celebrity sweat.

Also I enjoyed the hell out of Denzel legalizing a marriage.

It's a mystery! It's a mystery wrapped in a riddle inside an enigma! The goddamn announcers don't even know!

Forget it, Sean, it's the Oscars.

He did warn you, Hugh, that you weren't the only one with gifts.

"When a star's in the White House, they let you."

The Thousand Year Depression.

I never knew Trump was so passionate about winning the War on Bathrooms, especially given that he'd rather do it in a Moscow hotel room than anywhere else.

But will he know kung fu?