Next thing you know, somebody will employ this strategy to win political office, say, mayor, or maybe even governor.

Kinja gets irrationally aggressive when grieving.

Tell them that a giant slug captured me and forced me to wear that stupid outfit, and then I killed him because I didn’t like it. And then I took it off.

You’d think the Texans would have done better this season employing defensive players with the ability to phase in and out of the physical world like #55 and #56 there.

I didn’t figure it out until the actual reveal, because I am a Millenial, and need to be checking my phone, email, and twitter while watching a show, thus missing roughly half of what is going on.

“Hello, uh, governor Romney? I don’t suppose you still have those binders of women handy...? Also, some transition papers, a competent staff, any idea what the president does, and some Jack Daniels?”

Only 760? Where is this edited version you speak of?

“The person with the most necessary job in the world, FIFA’s chairman of audit and compliance, has resigned”

Huh?