When I create my profile, I might as well get rid of the riffraff from the beginning so I will make clear that I do like pizza with pinneaple, and chile in my chocolate.

And according to dirtside’s story, he also has an asshole.

I don’t have any personally heinous Denzel stories, but I do have *one* Denzel story. About 15 years ago my wife took me to dinner at Lucques in West Hollywood for my birthday. I went to the restroom (single room with lock on door), and when I came out, who but Denzel himself was standing there waiting his turn. He…

First: I’m really disappointed, not only because Denzel is one of the greatest actors of his generation, but because Nightcrawler was excellent and I expected even better things from this.

So, all the bros who spent the last few months screaming at Katie Rife for daring to talk about this and INSISTING THAT THERE WAS NOTHING TO TALK ABOUT until some accusers came forward and until then this was just a plot by mean ol’ Jezebel and AV Club to smear poor Louie...

I remember my classic “kissing another girl” character I performed for a long-ago girlfriend. It didn’t go over well.

When I do something shitty, it’s usually just character work. So this checks out.

And there you have the problem with “ironic racism.” You may be intending to make fun of “actual racists,” but to the person on the receiving end of your comments, it can be no different than if they’d gotten those same comments from an actual redneck. I mean, honestly, what is the difference? Whether you’re mocking…

Not me. I wake up each morning with a Colt 45, like God intended.

Hi. It must be your first time here. For a start, notice the column is called Savage Love.

RIP, Savage Love comment section.

She turned all my spiders into penises. Now my cleaning lady has resigned!

I don’t know if Woody Allen had inappropriate sexual contact with that particular daughter. I do know he’s done some really shady stuff, at the very least, and I don’t watch his new movies anymore. Being a hypocrite, I’d still watch Sleepers or Bananas or Crimes and Misdemeanors, which I can’t rationally justify…

“Rick and Morty’s Dan Harmon, what are YOU doing here!!?!!?!”

So if I’m at an event and Pence is there, all I have to do to get him to leave is to kneel? Shouldn’t this be on Lifehacker?

What a story like this needs is an auto-playing video of Moshe Kasher right in the middle of it.

I remember there used to be so many WW2 games because it was considered completely morally safe to kill Nazis; they were the ultimate evil and ultimate bad guys.

lets add some lyrics to that background music

There are no bigger experts on comedy than rappers based on every single skit I’ve ever heard on a rap album. Those are always so funny.

Thank you for defending the honor of that most beautiful and valiant creature, the “gamer.”