One day, I missed the bus to take me out of the little town in central Nebraska and back to college. Undeterred, mom drove me all the way to Denver, not knowing if the bus would still be there when we got there. On the way, a tire blew out and the car battery died. (Thanks, Wal-Mart kid who stayed after his shift to…

You, sir, are a patriot.

Please. Like anyone can pee on demand and then throw it. We’re not monkeys... Though monkeys throw poop, so.

You almost (almost) sound like the angry conservatives who lost their mind when Superman renounced his citizenship.

Sure as hell wasn’t the vaccines.

Is there a mumbo large, mumbo medium, mumbo small? Asking for a friend.

Only sociopaths would think children suffering the consequences of their parents’ actions (and inaction) is somehow okay.

“You’re a loser. I’m a winner. I’m a swimmer, let’s eat dinner. It’s Chinese. Brother, please.”

It would have been funnier if he would have slapped him WITH the hat.

What would he have done if the kid was wearing a red MAGA hat? That’s a conundrum right there...

We can’t get you to 1,000 stars fast enough!

Le Batard has talked a lot about his contract and what he can and cannot say/do, and it seems to me that he’s probably got a clause in there protecting him more than other talent. I mean, he’s on air for 3 hours in the morning and then the half hour TV show in the afternoon. With the level of thoughtful commentary he…

And the way the keeper performed, he deserved the insult. I mean, the dude was half a second off in his reactions... Says the big dude sitting in front of his computer.

This is definitely a “handoff” movie. Maverick is going to die/retire/be captured somewhere along the way and whoever “Phoenix” is takes over for the next sequel... Leading to fanboys losing it because she’s, you know, sans-penis (like that guy in Florida).

What is it with you baseball fans suddenly just wanting everyone to go back to where they came from?

Sir, I’d like to buy you a drink and congratulate you for winning the internet... uh... yesterday.

Why have laws? Because laws are not universally correct and set in stone. For example, we had laws against black people sitting on a counter or in the front of the bus. When they decided enough was enough, and they broke those laws, people — much like you and others are doing — start asking about the necessity for…

Cocky until someone stands up to them...

Wow! What part of your body are you using to type, then?

PeePee Teepees, for the win.