My comedic timing is off on Saturdays.

Ugh. I really have no time for this. Here’s your assignment:

Rookie mistake. Constitution places limits on what the government can do to the people, not what Univision can do to its properties and employees. For that, there are statutes and contract law.

They probably thought that all the Hispanics from Chile showed up with their flags. (The flags look very closely alike.)

Not competitive with guys? Have you seen the US Men’s Soccer Team play? These women would rout them.

Correction, the NWSL is the worst women’s league in the world, except for all the others.

Close enough, she’s on The Blaze, which was created by Glenn Beck, who rose to prominence while on Fox News.

I get playing the Anthem when two national teams are playing each other. Like USA v. Mexico. Sure. One side are Mexicans. The other side are Americans (mostly of Mexican or German descent). But during regular games?

“I would allow Aleppo to roam free in the Savannah, change its spots, even.” - Gary Johnson, apocryphal

She’s not changing the USA by disrespecting it and kneeling? Live in a bubble much?

Which cheeks, though?

Thanks. There’s something to be said about slow and steady and one more mile here and there. It build up and, before you know it, you fit into jeans you couldn’t wear at the beginning of summer.

“Waiting that long and then attacking the tumor when it’s convenient just shows her cowardice.” - Hope Solo, apocryphal

Indeed. I promised myself to do 5 miles on the bike when I bought it two months ago. Just five miles, then I would re-evaluate how long to go the next time. I did it, and I promised myself seven miles, then nine, then eleven...

Go to YouTube and watch Max Landis’ “Regarding Clark” monologue.

Also, the hair. He parts it in different directions depending on the persona. I tried it one time, and people were freaking out wondering what was different about me. True story. ;-)

Just in time for my second swimming lesson today. I’m in my mid-30s and don’t know how to swim. Go ahead and laugh, but there wasn’t much need to swim in the Chihuahuan desert.

Well, there is this one power tool she’s really good with.

Bullshit. Everyone knows that anyone involved in space exploration and such is a man.

I’ll play. This isn’t about his faith, per se. An atheist who behaved one way in public and then this way in private — with a government-issued computer — would be just as unfit to hold office. While we may mock this guy’s dirty acts while claiming to be pious, the truly troubling part is that he would be sloppy…