As opposed to the fake Green Berets everyone is going on about?

$10 says you read and comment on something else on Gizmodo by the time the rooster crows three times or next Monday, whichever is latest.

Dude is home schooled and claims to be Christian following Bible principles, yet he fails to understand why the forbidden fruit is so tempting. This is poetic on so many levels. I think I’ll write a script.

That whole thing about the air in the balloons becomes horribly vivid when you see a chest x-ray with a butterfly pattern where the lungs should have been after an explosion.

“The completeness of these doubters! Are all of you suggesting with confidence that maximizing our lexicon with more vehement, less platitudinous expressions is an unsatisfactory undertaking? FFS!”

There. I fixed it for you.

No. It was on “The Press Pool” with Julie Mason, about a month ago. They don’t keep shows around, and what they do keep around is “on demand” for a little bit. But here’s is something she answered on Reddit. In it, she writes:

She did an interview on Sirius XM on “The Press Pool.” She was asked about it. She parroted the “too many, too soon,” “parental choice,” and “one size doesn’t fit all” anti-vaccine points. It was almost as if she was reading them from Age of Autism or some other antivax site. Precisely because she is a medical doctor,…

I read your “I’m one of them” as someone voting for Jill Stein. My bad.

It takes a lot of guts to vote for an anti-vaxxer. I applaud you for that.

So you’re only looking at autism, then.

You’re well on your way, anyway. All the aluminum in the world is not going to change that.

Nah. You’re like the anti-vaccine asshole who thinks a measles outbreak is proof of their dominion over the world.

Cool story, bro.

You must think we’re idiots. Pelosi is in the House. Cruz is a Senator. Obamacare voting happened during the first Obama term (2009-2013). Cruz was not elected until 2012 and took office on January 3, 2013. Nice try at trolling, but you have failed miserably.

And the physicality... My God, the Argentinians were clearly more physical than even some bigger American players. They knew how to get their bodies in there and displace, legally, the flailing Americans.

The world would be a better place if we were all autistic.

No, you’ve had it. You just don’t remember having it. It’s a cognitive bias everyone has since we can’t go back and look at court stenographer-like recordings of our life.

I stamped “Get Your Flu Shot” on dozens of dollar bills. Yes, I’m that dude.

It’s early in the day, but you won the internet for today... Cherish that before it’s taken away from you by a fake-ass goal.

I remember a pitcher complaining that he was in the middle of warming up when he then had to jog all the way to mound during a brawl. He just wanted to warm up and get ready to close the game.