You don't have to be a dick about it.

Is that man-bag I see swinging all over the place?

But if he does imagine how stupid it sounds, does he imagine in decibels or hertz?

All he needs now is his wingman, "Goose".

Meh. Only the first two or three gigabytes count, really. The rest is just extra.

Lubed and ready? What, exactly, are you going to do with it?!

Good to know it's been patched. But I'm not really worried that I was "vulnerable" all that time. I'm not that important. Hardly anything would come up if you google me... Except maybe that whole H1N1 fiasco back in 2009, but that's about it.

Ha! He thinks he's people!

Wow! Now, THAT is talent.

That's exactly what I tell people who try to put me in a difficult position. I tell them that Moses (and other "associate editors" of the book of Genesis and others) didn't know how to explain the Big Bang, so he did the best he could. He didn't have the scientific background, and he was writing it for a really,…

It's like trying to get a brick wall to read you a simple, three-word sentence.

Next, we'll be debating whether vaccines cause autism or not.

Not to the most extreme on either side of the equation. I've gotten shat on for too long because I dare be Christian AND an epidemiologist.

Don't smoke, kids. You'll need tracheostomies.

Bonus points if the sniper eats a cheeseburger while you look for him.

Blasphemy!

Indeed. I treasure that finisher's medal above all others.

Ugh. Don't remind me. That movie (and the half-assed sequel) was an abomination to the original King story.

I was on stupid youth. The most I had ever run was about ten miles. It took me 5 hours to do it. I walked a lot. My calf muscle exploded at 20 miles, so I hobbled the rest of the way. Then hyponatremia set in and I spent the night in the ER, getting my electrolytes back to normal and making sure I hadn't killed my…

I woke up one morning feeling super, then went out and ran the Baltimore marathon. I almost died. I love, love, love that the advice is to start slow and go slow. Rome wasn't build in a day, as it were.