Parks and Rec is my go-to feel better show. I love the strong women characters and it’s just plain hilarious.

I’ve had three Nectar D’ors tonight, and it’s only TUESDAY. Every day is just too much. How??? Why??? This existence is profoundly unbelievable.

This is what a person who has never, ever had to deal with actual reality thinks it’s like to deal with actual reality. To him it is a game because he’s always had money and means and this funny little situation is just temporary for him. And he cannot see past himself. NPD is a helluva drug.

Start by reading How Not to Die by Dr. Michael Greger. Non-judgy, non-preachy, just facts and statistics about all kinds of foods and what they do to the human body. It will help you want to eat the right things.

Have a glass of wine! I had the best midwife, and amongst a million other things, she told me that if I’m super stressed THAT will hurt the baby. So if having one glass of wine or a beer will help alleviate that stress then that’s what you do. Alcohol in small amounts will not hurt the baby. I didn’t drink every…

I make sure to wipe all of their leaves down every few months, so they’re shiny and green again. This takes a while but it’s a really great way to connect with your plants. I also thank mine for living with us and tell them I love them at each weekly watering. I’ve had the same peace lily for 15 years that I got…

I’m so sorry. I truly know exactly how you feel.

I feel like, have always felt like, she is barely holding in her rage and disdain for him. She seems like such a Regina George to me. Turns it on for the camera then ignores/constantly puts him down off camera. It’s much too similar to how my mother treats my step-father; appearances are everything, but in small…

Who even is George Soros?? I’m a huge Libtard™ but I’ve never taken the time to look him up. I too would like a check from him if he’s paying us to Liberal.

Me too. I set reminders on my phone to fax every hour. I’m a faxing menace right now!

I don’t understand how ‘winning’ can be more important than what people actually need. I mean, the people most affected by this bill don’t care or, I’m assuming, understand that they will be screwed so hard— it’s just about a win. We won, suck it libtards! My mind doesn’t work like this, and I have a hard time…

Wait, I’m sorry. That’s insulting to poor Cthulhu.

We now know that Kim Jong-un has his photos altered to make his ears appear smaller. I would not put it past this regime to do the same thing. Make the banana smaller, my hands need to look yuge!

Read the book How Not to Die by Dr. Michael Greger. It’s very non-preachy and non-judgemental, it just gives you hundreds of reasons to WANT to eat healthy foods, which in turn helps you naturally lose weight. I’m sorry you’re having health issues!

In all honesty, I was staring at a Pizza Hut box when I wrote it😬. My apologies to all the cheeses, everywhere! Except for you, spray cheese. You know what you did.

And no matter how much self-promotion/adoration 45 oozes, he knows deep down in his cheese-stuffed heart that he isn’t as intelligent, poised, interesting, compassionate, handsome, caring, lovable, etc. as Pres. Obama so the only way he can make himself feel better is to tear down a fine man’s accomplishments.

President Shitstain and the Fuck You Bunch.

It’s terrifying to a lot of us Americans as well. It’s just.... unbelievable. I can’t find the word I’m looking for to describe ‘constant fear and horror at what our country has become’.

I’ve started referring to them as President Shitstain and the Fuck You Bunch.

My husband and I aren’t religious, so the church wedding was already off the table. We were married in the backyard of the officiant, with our two best friends there as witnesses. Afterwards we went to a movie and then out to eat steak. It was THE BEST DAY EVER! I had to deal with a bunch of passive-aggressive…