oh jesus. Paul Hollywood, ever the annoying fourth wheel. I shall miss Mel and Sue. Although guys, I just watched season 4. How the fuck did Kimberly not win? How the fuck did Francis win after a whole season of “style over substance” comments from the judges?

Ah the luxury of having never bought an item from Walmart. You obviously have never lived in a small town with poor parents, and the only place for 30 miles is a Walmart. In rural areas, it’s a necessity.

He calls it....”Tony Starch”

When I was a teenager, I got it in my head that I would have either a baby or a husband, but not both because that would be too much work.

Poor Ewan McGregor. He has spoken at length about his bad French accent. It’s quite endearing really that it’s so bad and he’s so aware of it.

My agency, by the way, is on this list (I won’t say much beyond that). And it’s a huge fucking mistake for us to be here. We’ve done a lot of good work over the years, and are one of the agencies who can look at the books year t year and point out that we’ve turned a pretty good profit for ol’ Uncle Sam.

They claim it’s for Maisie but really it was so Kit could appear taller than someone, *finally*.

Wait, you haven’t done sous vide corned beef yet? OMG, you HAVE to try that.

John Mellencamp sounds exactly like every person I’ve ever dated. And also like my dad. 🤔

By...picking a DNC chair that’s near-identical to another DNC candidate? JFC this division is getting rediculous. “My guy says he’ll raise min wage by $10, and the other guy will only raise it by $9.50! CORRUPT RIGGED BERN IT TO THE GROUND!” Jeezy creezy.

After 10 years, I finished paying off my student loans today! *High fives all around*

Luke has lowered the admission requirements significantly. Who’s gonna tell him not to?

Have you done a roulade?

I love you Carl.

i will not post the one where i look “nuts” but here’s this one:

The sooner people realize McCarthy is in the top 5 of the funniest people who ever lived ever the better off we’ll all be.

Per this Lifehacker post:

It’s a totally different sizing system. Why? Because fuck sizes, I guess.

Okay so today I learned that Rob Lowe is a lot less demanding than my husband.

Yeah, that part killed me. How charitable of him to play catch with his own children.