Look on the bright side- it will sprout roots and in ten years it will be growing new jeeps for you.

It was a junkyard. The Land Rover makes it an art installation.

Does that Jeep in the background have a flat tire or is it just embedded in the ground?

“Justin” huh? I’m sensing a Tyler Durden situation going on here. 

Alternately, he’s just really uncomfortable being around his monster of a father.

The reason Baron appears to be so tall is because he still has a spine. 

In every picture where Baron is present, he’s always got this look towards his dipshit dad like he’s contemplating ways to murder that shit gibbon in his sleep.

So, my son is autistic. After seeing those pics I’m totally going in on the Barron Autism conspiracy theory. I know there’s no two alike, but that stance, his face... I can’t not see it.

Barron got tall pretty fast, but yeesh... Melania got old even quicker.

“Hey Barron how was school tod-”

Or, if he is, he has a really fantastic agent.

We have the white male version of “Can I speak to your Manager” Becky, or Bret.

And sometimes, if you’re really lucky, in that sewer you get to see a single bedbug rise up...and then deactivate his account.

The stupid thing is that Twitter wasn’t his undoing, it was the email he sent.

I just re-joined Twitter like a month ago after a multi-year absence, and barely use it, but this whole situation has delighted me to no end.

I had a stomach bug one summer back in Junior High.

As one does, I had a big dinner once I felt (mostly) better. Ate a salad with thousand island dressing, Mesquite BBQ Lays, and threw in some pork steak on top of that.

Then I went and rode my bike over to a buddies house to play yard ball on a hot summer evening.

Showed…

Bacon Wrapped Figs vs. Spicy Corn Salad is the 1st round matchup to keep an eye on. The Cinderella of worst barfs is born from that contest.

As a migraine sufferer who vomits frequently, the worst thing I’ve ever had the pleasure of throwing up isn’t even on the list: Lettuce

Depends what the leading criteria for “worst” is. For texture, probably rice, because you get a few little grains lodged in your sinuses, adding to your misery. For taste and aftertaste, barbecue; for some reason, partially-digested barbecued meat tastes like the worst kind of ass. For appearance, pasta, for obvious…

When I was in high school, I came home drunk one night and ate a half a bag of Nestle Semi-Sweet chocolate chips in about three minutes. I promptly threw them up on the new white shag carpeting (hey, it was the 70's) in my bedroom. The stain was still there when my mom sold the house 25 years later.