State Farm, naturally.

“At Farmers, we’ve seen everything.”

Everyone looks like they’re being held up at gun point but they’re all saying, “just shoot me instead, don’t make me play this game.”

“Thank you for choosing AT&T Park. A service technician will arrive to put out your fire on May 13th between the hours of 12PM and 4PM. Please ensure your seat has a clear view of the southern sky and that you have MLB and the MLBPA’s expressed written permission to extinguish your fire. Thank you again for for…

What, you think AutoZone would have that shit? It was probably sitting in the same spot on that shelf since farmer Jones ordered it in ‘79, right before he got carried away by a twister.

Since this happened in Kansas, I feel compelled to say “carry on, my wayward son”.

Why do we bother to prepare scouting reports. Beagle goes right. BEAGLE ALWAYS GOES RIGHT!

Yeah but winter hats on Saturday!

50/50 shot of getting on TV?

Whoever wrote that headline

He is a genuinely good kid in a sport that’s filled with some absolute animals.

That deserves a Capital +One!!

Ha, no worries. That’s the best part of the deadspin comments, you never know what you’ll Discover!

Will someone think of the Pirates and their fans? Kang is just another immigrant trying to step up and do a job no American would want to do.

Michael Kay

Truth. Many a time I have heard the puke coming up in my sleep and woken up while kicking my cat and yelling “NOT ON THE BED!!!!!!!!”

My cat also probably saved my life! I was dozing on the couch and woke up to her screeching and meowing like crazy. I look over and she freaking out next to our gas heater, which sits below the floor. I go over and the thing is shooting out flames (still contained within the metal box, luckily). I quickly shut the gas…

Nothing makes one leap out of bed faster than the sound of their cat (or dog) vomiting. #FACT

Eartha Kitteh once saved my life! One of the pilot lights on the stove had gone out, and she woke me up by vomiting as the apartment filled with gas. We would both be 100% dead if it wasn’t for the fact that you can NEVER sleep through the sound of a cat vomiting.

I think you might be thinking too deep about this. Maybe you should see a...