Blargh, but why though? We don't need an untold history of Willy Wonka now, and we didn't need one in the Tim Burton remake!

Apparently, the only place it can still be found for sale is in Israel.

Just let him play Obi-Wan with a good director and a decent script. He really did give his all in the prequels. It's the least they could do.

Well, at this point in an incredibly exhausting ordeal of a year I'd say that a Corey Feldman song really should be dedicated to America. It's what we deserve.

Ok, I'm game. It certainly looks a bit more competent than Neighbors. Grading on a curve, obviously.

Oh dear.

Yeah, she was basically responsible fpr anything that makes you connect to the film on an emotional level. She was the one that edited the Trench Run as we know it today.

Fun Fact: Like most of the things he takes credit for, he can't really even take credit for the name 'Indiana'. People always say it was his dog's name, but technically, it was his first wife's dog's name.

Ghosts Can't Do It.
And by 'can't do it', they mean sex.

Yeah, it totally wasn't his years sticking his tiny hands into every piece of media possible. I never want to have said that I voted for a person who once cameoed as themselves in a lesser Home Alone title.
Or a lesser Bo Derrick project…or a softcore Playboy porno.

That whole soundtrack's pretty great, actually. So faithful to the sounds of the time.

I enjoyed his take on the state of Star Wars generally. It left me mildly depressed, honestly, kinda taking the wind out of a movie I rather enjoyed. It was what I would have expected. I think The AV Club might be a little mad since he took more than a few direct quotations from that 'The Prequels Don't Deserve Your…

Bob Loblaw Leads Litigation of Loony's Loopholes

But did she also spend the majority of the past 3 decades as a media gadfly playing a 'rich, successful' version of herself?

Gah, such a mess. There were some parts that I really, really liked and then there are some parts that I just really, really hated. The two halves cancel each other out and now I sorta pretend it doesn't exist.

Well, good luck to that store, I guess. Here's hoping it can survive in a niche market without the support of a somewhat popular cable TV show while maintaining a warm, friendly facade to potential customers.

We also would've accepted Zachary Quinto Pretentiously Narrates the Faux Cousteau Passage To Mars

Returning to the Giant Douche/Turd Sandwich Dichotomy doesn't really bother me. If anything, it feels like an intentional reference given that nostalgia is obviously a critical element of the season's storyline. All I'd need is Diddy to come back and threaten to Vote or Die.

Man, will Onza's face be red when they realize that Time Squad existed.

Bawling Bruce doesn't like my policies. He is a talentless loser! He better be quiet or I'll reveal everything I know! He was on a roof in Jersey cheering when the towers collapsed! Sad!