This is the town I grew up in (Westport, MA). The people are just like this. I spent my whole life trying to get the f*ck out of there. I'm dead serious when I say 90% of the people in Westport are like this and treat people like this. All the time.

Yeah, and they're all like "let's get him fired!" like screwing with some schmuck's livelihood over five bucks is so cool and clever. Fucking lowlife slabs of shit.

I usually don't agree with you but you got it right on the money with this one.

LOLLLL. Asking a friend's parents to drive you somewhere is TOTES THE SAME as asking a friend's parent to take you to prom and then blasting pictures of her in a bikini on Twitter to see if you could really get her to do it.

Get off my lawn and such.

no doubt this kid gets nicknamed "Stiffler" after this stunt.

At this point, Madonna is just embarrassing. It makes me cringe to see someone so vastly out of touch and tone deaf try to be hip and with it. I hope her album tanks.

Brunch is sacred and should never be interrupted by loud obnoxious children.

I worked at a fairly large cadillac dealership in the service department. The service department consisted of a very long building with service stalls on both sides and the dispatch office (where I worked) was right in the middle. I was one of the very few females employed in this department. It was a fun job but…

Merry Christmas, Buttons. Sending solidarity back at'cha. xox

The Best Gift I Ever Got:

My birthday is exactly a week before Christmas, and as such, is almost always the day that my office chooses to have their holiday party. This has happened several times over the years with various jobs, and it is generally uncomfortable and has occasionally gotten weird.

The most memorable, however, was several…

I lost my virginity at 16 to a dude who had a glow in the dark dick piercing. It was like a beacon, guiding me home.

I made good choices the first time.

The second guy ... has two pack a day habit he could never afford, no high school diploma, and a history of quitting management jobs about 18 months in so that he can spend more time with his pot/ecstasy dealer.

As a lightning bonus round, he has a history of poking holes in condoms…

It's not much of a horror story...

Senior year of high school, my dementia ridden grandfather thought Thanksgiving dinner was just starting (we had finished but the adults still were around the table talking and drinking) and tried to say the Lord's Prayer as he pissed himself, destroying my mother's sanity and a dining room chair. Simultaneously…

Last year, when my relatives found out I not only had a girlfriend, I have an Indian, Muslim girlfriend who makes more money than all of them.

I once went out with a guy who said he was a writer, and since I'm also a writer, I asked who some of his favorite authors were. He said,