Please, the only way he isn’t ending up in Dallas is if Jerry Jones is kidnapped.

That’s such a good take. What is being done isn’t a threat to the game or America, it’s a threat to the fictional, everything is fine / racism is over narrative that people are erroneously tacking into the America that they believe exists.

Miami Dolphins players Arian Foster, Jelani Jenkins, Kenny Stills, and Michael Thomas all kneeled

Sarcasm, as it’s called on the internet, isn’t primarly concerned with accuracy

Yeah yeah, show me the birth certificate.

Hopefully to his face.

Correct. Schilling is the bigger source of consternation for Red Sox fans. “Thanks Curt for 2004. Now please shut the fuck up.”

This seems like a perfect segue into a story about the lack of minorities working in NFL front offices.

Willy Wonka, Young Frankenstein, Blazing Saddles, The Producers, and Silver Streak.

I am an XXy woman. I successfully conceived and delivered my child. I have naturally occurring high levels of testosterone. I am also a sofa schlub. There’s no way in hell I or my android pelvis could perform as well as the *LEAST* testosterone laden of the competitors.

With style.