How about the not-so-vaguely racist cliches, like Jar Jar? Did you like that part of the politics?

It’s not re-writing history to say that, objectively, they were shitty, shitty movies.

“Jez advertises obscure artist’s new album, for no particular reason.” FTFY.

Bad taste in men is not a separate issue. For this to be a happy moment that one gets swept up in (i.e., completely loses sight of the douchebaggery one is involved in), one must be in love with the sort of person who stops traffic in order to propose on the side of a highway. The sort of person who falls in love with…

Oh, so you watched some TV, did you? Well, thanks.

Martin Shkreli was worth about 3 stories on Gawker, max. It, in general, is not funny anymore. This particular article is not even close to funny. I want my 2 minutes back.

Eww. No. Gawker has tricked me into watching a lot of messed-up videos, but I’m definitely not watching this shit. NOPE.

“We don’t take that kind of language here on the Washington Journal.”

OK, maybe a little harsh. But I reject the argument that the person being proposed to in this case should be considered “an innocent bystander.” Proposing marriage takes more than 3 seconds, even for a thoughtless dickhead like this guy. If you are dragged out on the highway unexpectedly, and then it becomes clear…

So she looks like...Natalie Portman? Mmkay, well, thanks.

Perhaps that particular chunk of the freeway had certain romantic significant for the couple...? Teehee.

“A...” OK, this is fine. “...Tyler Perry...” Uh-oh. “...Musical...” Oh, shit. Srsly? “...About...” About? Why does it have to be ‘about’ something...? “...Jesus Christ...” WTF? Oh, I see, you were just yanking my chain, you lovable scamp. What? WHAT? Oh, FFS.

This guy presumably could have gotten out of the charges with absolutely no pretext or explanation whatsoever. So I’m guessing that he cooked up this particular explanation as a way to rub his impunity in the world’s face.

I think this guy probably thought he was OK because he was referring to things he wasn’t saying or things that were not happening in some of these cases (e.g., this girl’s not a 14-year-old whore/temptress). Kind of like saying “I’m not a racist, because I wouldn’t actively discriminate against [insert racial epithet…

So it is possible for Tom Brady to be embarrassed about something? And... it’s this?

I’ll bet Trump’s first guess when he heard “triad” was that it had something to do with a heavily-tattooed, Kung Fu-fighting, Chinese gang from a 1970s action movie. And “nuclear triad” meant that it was a gang of heavily-tattooed, Kung Fu-fighting, Chinese cyborgs, powered by nuclear reactors.

“Mr. [Sandler]... Everyone in this room is now dumber for having [watched your movies]. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.”

You did this all wrong. You’re supposed to talk about how much money is going to change hands in the divorce settlement. Also, say something horribly naive about whether or not it was a “fake” marriage.

values_boomrightinyourface