questions that i have not been able to get answers from google:
1) why do we have a census/what are we hoping to learn here?
2) why is it not online?
3) why in the holy hell does this shit cost “about $15.6 billion”?

i did exactly fuck all on the 4th because i didn’t feel like there was anything to celebrate. these women reminded me what “proud to be an american” feels like, and i’m going right the fuck off today about it. bring on the gd fireworks!! 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸

oh my god oh my god oh my god please please please please please please

does anyone know what we are supposed to do here? how can i help? what do i do?

BUT WHAT KIND OF SHOES WERE THEY??????

re: the jobros so desperately wanting to fit in with the cool kids at the party. watch nick at ~0:55, he blatantly looks over at sebastián to check what he’s doing so he can mimic it.

and what? she’s rich, she can afford four fans, a person to carry them to her room before she gets there, and a person to carry them out after she leaves. 

and a damn massage table? are you serious? what hotel just has that laying around? just bring it. you’re fine, you’re a bajillionaire and you can afford the staff to carry it up to your room ahead of your arrival. just bring it.

why don't famous people just bring all their bullshit with them? like if they need a specific brand of water and a specific type of humidifier, just bring it? 

maxima is delightfully bonkers in all things sartorial and i would absolutely love to get a bottle of champs and go through her closet and jewelry chests with her.

also why is it so weirdly sticky?? what garlic juice is happening? and then the skin gets stuck on my hands in the inexplicable juice and it’s a mess than i am not interested in when i just want the delicious taste of garlic in everything i eat.

what a piece of shit you have to be to get expanded sexual assault laws named after you. like what a fucking piece of shit. i hope it is so widely called the schneider loophole that this motherfucker gets called out every time he applies for a job or uses his credit card or has any occasion to share his last name.…

i do not understand the legality of tabloids. how do they print "palace confirms" over a "kate's preggo" headline, when the palace most certainly did no such thing? 

no. they had pictures of vaginas and were pornographic. 

SAME they carried rulers, 7” or more apart. 

noooo, stop. that’s the new testament. that’s the part where jesus said some relatively sane shit about not being a dickbag. christians don’t like that part, they like the old one where they get to stone women for being whores and hate crime the gays.

catholic school survivor here; please find below a list of some real fuckin gems my school offered me during “sex ed.”

corn detassling when i was 14 (s/o to all the midwest kids whaaaat!)

by who, please!! goodreads gave me several results for this title and i want to be sure i’m properly terrified. 

what...what wars is he a fan of?