this is perfect you are perfect

right right right BUT jay-z did give us the feminist anthem that is “dirt off your shoulders.”

this is probably the most correct reaction to all these news items.

wait. did...did perrie believe that her relationship was real? i thought we all just knew that papa cowell cooked it up b/c 1d was blowing up and he wanted a girl version to get even more moolah for himself while exploiting inexperienced kids, and having two members date would push sales. did no one tell her? or,…

HAHAHAHAHA god almighty i love you english. your “less profane” gtfo still involves the word fucking. you are perfect never change.

you are wrong. zayn is the best.

excuse my confusion. is this a rallying cry or a “calm your tits” thing to say, “fucking do one.” i like it but i don’t fully understand it.

i just woke up, and read this as “rihanna is joining the view,” and i just...was so disoriented.

it’s those corn-fed iowa boys! good ol’ boys next door that still know how to take you for a good tumble in the hay. like a southern gentleman without the racism and poor dental hygiene.

......................

HOLY SHIT.

honestly, arby’s is the only american restaurant i ever find myself craving when i’m abroad for long periods. i love that shit - roast beef regular, 47 packets of arby’s sauce, no i will not share my curly fries with you. if this dude would get me some kind of hookup, i would absolutely do it. i’d do it twice.

THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE ZAYN I AM COMING FOR YOU WAIT FOR MEEEEEEEEEE

ALKSDFNAKLSDNFOADUGEAFKGNVDKFJNASEKREIMS NDKVA;DF’LVKNAD;VNSDKFJNAS;IW

wait. they still make beanie babies?

I WILL DIE ON AN ALTAR MADE OF ZAYN’S HAIR, AND THE FLAME THAT ACCOMPANIES MY SOUL TO THE HEAVENS WILL BE IN THE SHAPE OF HIS ICE CREAM SWIRL.

i wouldn’t say considered, no. i would say he was scientifically proven to be a beautiful angel from heaven.

cheese and fucking rice, his hair from the amas still gives me heart palpitations.

you are exactly correct in everything but one thing.

you better watch yourself. if queen louis hears you insult him, he will come after you on twitter and he will not hold back.