Kevin's dad works at a Home Depot so he was able to get a discount on the torches.

Congratulations on you new position, nervous break down, firing, and book deal. Enjoy your week.

"Quick! Take the statue down! Ignore the gunfire in the background and take it down now! We don't Baltimore get a bad image do we? Hello, gang members. No its cool. We are taking the statue down. No need to thank ………Damn it they took our crane"

Watch The Emoji Movie for his "putting together a team" speech. And it said Samuel Jackson will return in The Meme Movie.

Even the stature of Jimmy Carter?

Can I get Bud Lite Platinum into mine?

[Jefferson Starship watches from home}

You should have asked her if she ever consider taking a missionary position?

I take them daily and I'm fine. FIGHT THE LIZARD PEOPLE WHO PLANNED 9/11!!!……..Maybe I should cut back.

I have a plan. Get drunk, steal some cars, catch on up a few tv show, burn so much stuff to the ground, try tofu, go on wild shooting spree and ending in me visiting my neighbors shelter and giving a speech on " how humanity still has a chance, if we learn to treat each other with kindness." Then as he opens the door…

Brace yourself. "The Room" quotes are coming.

Start the School Year off With A Bang.

I need a moment. I'm sorry. I just……It's too much to handle. WHY WOULD GOD ALLOW THIS?

You had me at strapped naked.

This is how the world ends. Not with a bang, but with Jake Paul.

Wait. Can I still make fun of him or by him being bisexual, any jokes about him are now considered hate speech?

“feel like they’re riding Wonder Woman’s whip”……………and the dirty thoughts come out.

No hope………………..(Flatlines)

"No Erin, we really like and you did a fine job. It's just we are killing you off and giving as you a little airtime as possible to address the death. And yes, that means you are VERY unlikely to come back, there is still a very small chance, Okay? But we love you and hope nothing but the best. Now get off the lot.…

No. that's Joe. I know that for a fact. That bastard.