Ha ha ha! Well, I think it took awhile to actually process what had just happened. He was long gone before the lightbulb lit. Also, codependence.

I spent many years as a server and actually rather enjoyed it. (Thanks to having a miserable narcissist for a father, I rather excelled at meeting people's impossible needs.) A struggling single mom, it was a great way to have cash in my pocket. One day, however, said father came in for a meal. I waited on him hand…

Oh God this is the last few years of my life! I am going to get get tested for ureaplasma stat.

Natural remedies totes can help things in balance if you use them on a regular schedule. I try to use tea tree oil suppositories 1x/month. If I'm feeling any symptoms I use them more frequently, followed by yogurt. One…

What the ever living f*ck? No coy headline with a spoiler alert? COME ON.

I want some of whatever that lion was on! Must've been some good shit because kitty looks nearly incapacitated.

Our stories are virtually identical! I also received welfare and food stamps while I was in law school. Like you, I make a lot more money - and pay a lot more in taxes - than I would have had I not gone.

My father used to rail against Welfare Queens, and I would remind him that I, his daughter, needed welfare to help…

Well, I can tell you that my father was a teetotaler. No alcohol, no drugs, not specifically religious but also not particularly permissive. By most outside counts, he was a great dad. Worked 3 jobs and took care of my siblings and I, and my mom, who was chronically ill. What he was was a raging narcissist. Everything…

Well, why do you think he chose YOU? Why do you think you "tied [yourself] in knots attempting to accommodate and placate an unreasonable and manipulative abuser"? A person with normal boundaries, who didn't have co-dependent tendencies, would have kicked him to the curb before things got even close to the kind of…

Hang in there! There's lots of help out there - just ask for it, and keep asking if you are having trouble finding it. You'll make it!

There is no sin in taking your fair share of responsibility. It's empowering, really. It's what we expect of our children when they err, right? Or those who have committed crimes? Admit you did wrong, make amends if necessary, learn better, don't make the same mistake again.

A big part of the acknowledgement of my…

I have to say, I empathize. I was in an abusive relationship. I know I played a part in escalating behavior that I knew was wrong. And, of course, I chose to stay, much longer than I should have. Part of my recovery was in admitting my role; I didn't think that I could take the credit for finally ending the…

Again, I think it's a generalization to say that mothers are the only ones who would be sympathetic. Without knowing which one was the primary driver behind the behavior, it seems better to include both parents.

Hmm. Interesting point. But something you should be able to figure out from the kids' FB pages, no? Wouldn't it be prudent to message both mom and dad?

Yes, this is sort of what was driving my thinking. It feels like it's a tossup as to whether they get these behaviors from dad or mom. Given that she messaged four moms and only one responded, it may very well be that the others are in that camp.

Interesting. Thanks!

Hmm. Those are a lot of generalizations and gender stereotypes. I know plenty of fathers that would be horrified to learn their sons engaged in that kind of behavior. And I've dated at least one man (notably the most violent one) who learned about "loose girls" and "whores" directly from his mother.

I know it's because the assumption is that these attitudes are handed down from father to son, but why call the mothers? Why not call the fathers? It seems to me that men should have at least an equal responsibility in instilling proper values vis-a-vis women in their sons.

Not only that, it's a fine line between everyone not being allowed to talk to you, and the creepy stalkers who want to interact inappropriately. There is no normal connection with people on an everyday basis for celebrities. FWIW, I have met her and she's quite nice. A bit shy, but otherwise lovely.

Found love? More like, insane levels of codependence. If that's the measure of a marriage, I'll pass.

Wimminz. Damned when you don't ask for permission, damned when you don't second guess it when it's given.