Ah, CPAC - the weekend that taxes Grindr to its limits.

THE ISSUE IS NOT MENTAL ILLNESS. The numbers are clear: the overwhelming majority of these mass shooters are DISAFFECTED WHITE MEN with an axe to grind, usually with Nazi style leanings.

They’re about four times more expensive at the nearest health food store which is a little over ninety miles away, but thanks for judging the ethics of a purchase I made while my daughter’s cat was dying.

It was American Idol bad audition montage bad.

I do feel for her, though. You know when people try to encourage you to do something you’re scared of by saying, “What’s the worst that could happen?” - Well, a lot of shitty things actually.

She ain’t got no friends man! Somebody who heard her rehearsals should have told her STOP!

I was on Talk Soup once, in the John Henson era. They picked up some “[wo]man on the street” interview montage that I was in, which originally appeared on one of the network morning shows. They didn’t make fun of anything I’d said, but I was a local celebrity that week.

If only The Tyra Banks Show could come back and I could get Joel McHale talking about Tyra dressing up as people with lives that are worse than hers again. That’s the dream.

You say that, but I have very little faith in white women.

I don’t think I could top the woman whose story was she got her college diploma in the mail, and had trouble opening the envelope, but she got it opened eventually.

No, he’s just attacking a black person who’s pissed him off. Like he’s always done. It’s the only consistent thing he’s done his entire life.

To paraphrase someone much smarter than me:

I honestly don’t think he has any of his own. His is the most unprincipled man I’ve ever seen. And I don’t even say this because I hate him, which I do, he just literally has no morals, principles or values.

Trump is scared of a young girl. Amazing.

Can we pause for a second to consider this literal demon actually threw a Studio 54 themed party this weekend at Mar-A-Lago, comparatively a stone’s throw away from the location of said mass shooting of mostly children just days ago, and threw his little limp dick club party on the exact day those affected are…

Minnie Driver singing awfully, then signaling up-yours to a Russian mobster, always puts a smile on my face.

Can’t imagine why this came to mind.

I think all the paint just fell off my living room walls

To be fair, it is a shitty song.

That was ba-yeah-yeah-yad.