The rape kit backlog is a disgusting systemic failure. But finding this tape is important for victims too.

Do you want my secret recipe for eggnog? Here it is:

The Republicans are Lucy and we’ll always be Charlie Brown.

*looks up from unzipping fourth round of cheese from its little red wax coat*

I spent a solid 5 minutes standing in front of the deli case at the grocery store mumbling about cheese tonight. Do I need a pound of smoked sliced gruyere. Well no... But I wanted it.

I remember reading somewhere that cheese is as addictive as drugs. I’ve done pretty much most of the most addictive illegal drugs. I’m not bragging or anything—I wish I could take back all the poor decisions, horrible acts, and brain damage (I was a world-class harpsichordist until one day I wasn’t) done while on…

They owe her an anthroapology.

My personal favorite.

It’s like your racist aunt’s forwarded emails became sentient, coagulated into a semi-human form, developed narcissistic personality disorder and dementia, and were voted into the Oval Office.

Update from Australia:

I texted my dad this news and he replied, “I don’t even trust you to pay your own bills.”

lol... what a dumb bitch. Seriously, what kind of mediocre, dumbass white woman do you have to be to make Chris Christie seem smart?

Based on how the Roy Moore and tax hike bill sagas are playing out, I have no confidence that the GOP will do a damn thing no matter what Trump does. It’s clear they’re too afraid of Fox News and Trump’s base to do anything beyond bleat in distress and wring their hands.

The lack of attention and mobilization around this tax bill (which is probably passing right now) is maddening. I know taxes are boring but they play a huge role in the general functioning of society (and our daily quality of life), and the fact that a ~500 document is being rammed through congress in like a week and…

So the Trump administration is basically that one cousin at Xmas that eats with his fingers then plays with everyone else’s toys, break most of them and ruins the rest than takes his own things and goes home in a tantrum because people said mean things about him, right?

Even better, he’s prepared to testify that Trump directed him to make contact with the Russians, and is prepared to serve as a witness against Trump and his family. Happy Friday everyone!