I once got WAY too drunk at teacher prom, and my wife told me I spent the last bit of the night repeatedly announcing to her that we “need to go back to Lallybroch” in what have been an offensively Scottish accent.

This Pikachu is a rock type.

I so agree. I used to like lawyer shows. Then I met my husband, who is one. And every time I’d watch L&O, CSI, NCIS — all the acronyms — he would provide a blow-by-blow commentary about how such crime detection is simply not possible (think “the electrified pickle”), complete with a lengthy and lawyerly explanation…

I propose a new law: If you are morally or ethically opposed to abortion, do not get an abortion. Also, let other people follow their own moral code, since it in no way affects you. If you care about life and all on the planet, pack a lunch for hungry kids.

Clearly the man had issues.

His blood ran cold, but his angel was a centerfold.

If he had one of those asphyxiation fetishes, he probably came as he went.

I remember going to SXSW when it was a direction.

I trust a post-Taco Bell fart more than I trust Trump.

Coke and Viagra fueled heart attack.

what’s the issue? it’s got men right in it.

Don’t worry, Days of Our Lives will come back from the dead only to find out that Megyn Kelly is fucking its evil twin.

I’ve been there just with my own mom (my own flesh and blood!) she was not invited to our wedding

Ladies, I’m “new” here. I’ve commented a few times and I’ve been reading Jezebel for years now. I don’t know if this is allowed, and I feel fairly pathetic for even putting it out there.